Q&A: returing to work while breastfeeding an older baby

Laury writes:

"I wanted to ask your advice about carrying on breastfeeding and returning to work. My son is 10.5 months; I'm going back to work 3 days a week in a month's time. I usually feed him 4-5 times a day (not much at night any more thank heaven), including feeding him to sleep for bedtime and most naps. I can probably do 2-3 of those feeds once I'm working again but I'm wondering what to replace the feeds he'll miss with, and whether I can carry on feeding him more often in the days I'm with him. He's not taken to my offers of breastmilk, formula or cow's milk in a sippy cup (or bottles which he has always refused).  He does drink water out of a sippy. He's been an erratic daytime feeder for ages, but to complicate things, has just started wanting to drink lots. (There's some 46-week-ish development thing I think) He eats 3 pretty decent solids meals a day too. I'm keen to carry on nursing, especially as he's small - i'm just not sure what to expect at this point, and all the extended breastfeeders I encounter seem to be SAHMs. What do you think?"

I think the things you're worrying about are going to work themselves out. But I also think there's going to be an adjustment period. As long as you know that and can work with it, you should be OK.

The biggest negative that I can think of is that he might start wanting to nurse at night again for a few weeks once you go back to work. Younger babies almost always try to make up the missed contact by nursing more at night. Your son may or may not want to nurse at night since he'll be a year old and has a better sense of object permanence, so he'll probably be better able to deal with your being gone during the day several days. But he might start waking up. If he does, it should work itself out in a few weeks once he's used to the new schedule.

I think the rest will depend on your supply and on who will be caring for him while you're at work. If your supply tends to be adequate and flexible (for example, if he nurses less one day you'll still have enough the next day), then I think you can get away with not pumping at all (especially since many women find that they can't pump enough at around 10 months, even if they still have plenty when the baby is actually nursing) and just nurse on request on the days you're home. If your supply is more tightly calibrated, you may have to pump once or twice on the days you're at work so you have enough on your off days.

If he's still nursing 2-3 times a day, then he doesn't actually need milk or a milk substitute while you're gone. He can drink water for hydration and eat for nutrition. But he may take milk (yours or cows') from a caregiver just fine even if he won't take it from you. I'd talk to the caregiver ahead of time and explain that your son won't take anything from you in any container, but that s/he's welcome to try. And then let it be the caregiver's problem. I wouldn't be surprised if your son will take milk from the caregiver easily. (Parents see this all the time on all kinds of issues, that their child won't do something for them but will do it happily for a grandparent or babysitter.) It's both annoying and liberating, because then it really isn't your problem while you're at work.

I think you're in a great spot to be going back to work. Babies this age are so stable with their nursing and eating that any disruptions you see in the first few weeks should be annoying, but minor and not worrysome. And having a 3-day schedule will mean you're still home more than you are gone, so it should be easier to maintain your grip on things at home than if you had to go straight into working 5 days a week.

Did anyone else go back when your baby was close to a year? How did it go?

 

Comments

[hedra]

I went back to work after being laid off with the twins, when they were 11 months old.

I pumped. I was doing 8.5 hour days (including the commute), five days a week. And they had dietary issues, and flat out refused any mommy milk substitutes other than water or juice. Pumping supply did start low, but I pushed through, and it rebounded again. It just took some work.

That said, I've also worked through this phase with two other kids. The oldest, I didn't push through the 10-11 month pumping slump, and instead weaned to cow's milk with dr approval at 11.5 months. That worked fine, I continued to nurse evening/morning/night/weekends (he was already a night nurser), and continued nursing him until he was more than 3 years old. I'd be a bit more milk-laden on Monday after a weekend of nursing on demand, but not uncomfortably so, and that didn't last long.

With the second, I had the same pumping slump at the same age, but he was milk/soy protien intolerant, and if I didn't want puking screaming toddler with eczema, I was pretty much out of luck. I kept pumping until he outgrew that intolerance. At that point (14 months), I still carried on, and he weaned at 2 1/2 years. He had long since night-weaned, but we kept up with on-demand evening/morning/weekend nursing. I don't recall much of an engorgement issue at all with him.

With the twins, I'm still going at 2 years, though I've not been pumping at work for months. Same deal, though. On-demand when I'm there, and something else to drink when I'm not. They seem to get enough.

The pattern I found was common all three times was that there were pump slumps, but if I really worked at it, my pumping supply would rebound (not sure if it was sleep-deprivation related, or stress related, since the slumps tended to coincide with fussy stages, though offset a bit). Also, all of the kids became VERY insistant nurse-when-they-see-mommy kids. I learned that I HAD to hit the bathroom before I left work, because there was no way I was going to get a chance for about 20 minutes after I got home. Even at 2, it took weeks for me to get to where I didn't have to sit down and nurse them when I got to preschool to pick them up. They'll now wait until we get home from picking up everyone, but only if I get them drinks of water before we go. That's only half thirst, I think - it is a meaninful ritual that mommy provides SOMETHING for them upon reunion, food-or-drinks-wise.

Good luck. I agree with Moxie that this will all work itself out fairly easily.

[Vanessa]

I started working when my daughter was nine months old - she was born during my last semester of law school. I decided against pumping at work, since I'd had such trouble pumping during school and at the bar exam, but I was able to keep nursing once in the morning and twice in the evening for as long as I wanted. I think it's easier to keep going with a reduced nursing schedule with an older baby. I didn't have a problem with letting her drink formula or whole milk while she was at daycare, as long as we could still enjoy the breastfeeding bond when I was with her. This is not ideal if you were hoping to avoid formula entirely, but I saw it as a good compromise for our situation.

My lactation consultant said I could try feeding my daughter during the night, which I was not willing to do, since she was sleeping through and I couldn't bear the thought of going back to night wakings. She also said that it was possible to nurse full time on the weekends - my supply would just go up and down each week. But I had previous problems with plugged ducts, and didn't want to invite them by messing with my supply too much. So I fed formula and, later, whole milk on the weekends at the times my daughter would have had it at daycare.

[obxmom]

I work part-time at home and part-time in the office and have been since my son was 3 months; now he is 1 year. I am still breastfeeding on demand. I going to come at a different slant returning to work earlier, but I hope this helps.

I pumped more than enough up until he was 11 months. I hit that slump Moxie was talking about. Because I am home some days this was not so much an issue until I had a few busy weeks back to back. Then we introduced cows milk.

I will say that hands down my son still takes food better from everyone BUT me, but because he is not big eater I also have continued nursing.

Because he is not a big eater, on the days I work away from home he recieves on average 20 oz from milk. At least one, sometimes two of those feedings are from cows milk.

I try to keep to my schedule of when I pump, even on the weekends. I pump in the morning before I leave and twice during an 8 hour day.

[chaya]

I went back to work when my daughter was 7 months old. My doctor said that I needed to pump to be able to nurse her morning\night. I tried for the first few days, but it just didn't work for me. I am a bad pumper, and my work schedule was extremely not conducive. She was on formula part of the time anyway ever since weight gain issues as a newborn. I found that she did fine with bottles during the day, and nursing morning, afternoon, bedtime, and once in the middle of the night. My supply was flexible enough that I did ok weekends too. Although she probably got a bottle or two occasionally on the weekends. Eventually we replaced more feedings with bottles, and she basically weaned herself from her last nursing at around 17 months. BTW, I had the same experience as Hedra, in that she NEEDED to nurse, the SECOND we walked in the door. Not when I picked her up from daycare, she was fine, but as soon as we were in our apartment, she went nuts, arching her back and grabbing at my clothes. I remember nursing in my coat, in the bathroom, because I hadn't yet figured out to go before I left work, and she was so desperate I couldn't make her wait those two minutes. When I decided to get rid of that nursing, probably around 14 months, because she didn't really need it--I nursed her to sleep about 2 hours later, I did it by not coming home. We would go to th park or to a friend's house every day for a week or so, so she got used to not having it without her usual desperation.

[MotherLawyer]

I went back at 12 weeks and b/f till 17.5 mos. Night feeds featured prominently, unfortunately.

My DS had no trouble nursing more when I was available and my body co-operated. He did take bottles in my absence (pumped milk and then formula for months 10-12), either your babe will nurse more often when you are together or he'll decide to take a sippy or a bottle, he won't go thirsty!

I think you'll be fine. Kids are often more resilient than we expect them to be:)

I'm grateful for my extended nursing experience, good luck with yours!

[smashedpea]

I went back to work full-time at 9 months when my husband took over. I nursed her once in the mornings before going to work, sometimes another quick one before leaving, and then on demand in the evenings and on weekends.

I'd have to nurse as soon as she saw me and she could absolutely not wait. If I had to go to the washroom or something first, she'd just cry her little heart out. It also seemed that she nursed a lot when I was home in the evenings, sometimes almost constantly until she went to sleep.

On weekends, she nursed a lot as well, and she never had formula or cow's milk. We tried giving her cow's milk once she was a year old, but she absolutely refused it. Only after having been weaned for a bit did she get into cow's milk and now she drinks it from a sippy cup, pretty much by the bucket. She used to drink water from a glass when I wasn't around and refused the sippy cup until she was weaned.

I've never pumped and haven't fed her during the night since she was a few months old (she slept through and I wasn't about to wake her....).

Good lcuk. I'm sure it'll all work itself out. I found it a bit nerve-wrecking in the early days and missed the closeness that comes from nursing. She did, too, but we all got used to it without too much trouble.

[kit]

Lots of good advice. Also, you may not need to pump on the same schedule you would feed. Somewhere short of my son's birthday, I got sick of dragging my pump all over creation and trying to find a private place/time or kicking my coworkers out (even though they were supportive, it just got old). I could pump one time during the day when he was taking 3 feedings in that period, and then I found I could just pump before work and after I fed him when I got home. When he was down to two feedings during the day, after his birthday, then I started pumping just once a day after he fed when I got home.

Since he's eating well, I wouldn't worry about the nutrition. It'll work itself out. And, no guilt either if it doesn't work out quite the way you want or expect. You've come very far as it is getting to the 10.5 month point.

[lihpovela]

I went back to work full time (well 10 to 4, more like) when my son was 6 months. We breastfed until he was 12 months. At around this age, he did not take bottles or other alternatives to milk from the nanny. He drank water and then would nurse a bit when I got home.

I think I pumped once a day for a while, but then it bacame clear that he did not want the milk in the day so I stopped. My supply was really solid so there were no issues. I think by this point the 2 bodies are really good at communicating.

I agree that this will all resolve itself. But I will say that my kid still does not drink anything but water (he has to get all his calcium from yogurt and cheese).

[M]

I went back to work for 2 (non-consecutive) days a week when my daughter was 12 months. She had been in daycare for 2 days/wk from 5-9 months, when I pumped breastmilk for her. Then I was home with her all summer. I was still breastfeeding her about 5 times a day at that point, plus normal meals. But going back to daycare at 12 mos, she refused pumped breastmilk from a bottle or cup. I gave it about 2.5 weeks of pumping and sending the breastmilk, and her caregivers offered it to her in various ways. She always refused it, so I stopped pumping. She also has (so far) refused milk and soymilk in any type of cup. But, we've had good luck with drinkable yogurt in a sippy cup (remove the valve if it's got one to make it easier to drink). I send her with a yogurt and a good meal and snacks and she does fine. She was only ravenous for breastmilk for the first couple of weeks, now she still breastfeeds when we get home, but she's not in a rush.
On my days at home, she still breastfeeds usually twice at times when she would be in daycare. But the discomfort of not pumping on the other days only lasted a few weeks, and was never too bad for me. But this probably depends on how much your baby is actually eating when at the breast, and three days away might be different.
I've been really happy with this arrangement. I am very happy to not have to devote so much of my rare work time to pumping, and I think it is helping to ease us slowly towards weaning. I expected that she would give up the during-the-day feedings sooner (it's been 3 months since I've returned to work), but I'm not unhappy that she clings to them on the days that I'm home, since it doesn't seem to make either of us uncomfortable on the days when I'm at work.
Good luck!

[B]

I went back to work when my kid was 6 months old. I pumped until she was 11 months old AND I went to the daycare center for lunch feedings. She weaned herself of the lunch feedings by month 10, but appreciated my showing up in the middle of the day anyway. She's now 18 months old and still nurses--almost exclusively at night. We cosleep; I consider this an important bonding time and figure the challenge of sleeping through the night is one we can tackle later. I don't worry much about my supply any more, except that I seem to run low when she needs added confort during intense teething episodes.

[cagey]

SAHM, I am and I am still nursing my 13 month old son. However, I have been attending my hospital's breastfeeding support group since he was a few weeks' old (I still attend, primarily to support new mothers). Not to be disagreeable, but I have to caution against not pumping at all during your working hours since that runs counter to what I've heard our lactation consultant tell working mothers. Her consistent advice has been to pump for the feedings you would normally give your child during the day. Granted, you could probably get away with 2 pumpings even if your child feeds 3 times during the day, but I would hesitate to tell someone not to pump at all.

[Helena]

Well, just to add a different story to the mix:

I went back to work (9ish to 5ish, M-F) at 10 weeks, baby was with dad. She refused a bottle at first, would take 1-2 oz at the very end of the day when she was hungry. At four months, he started giving her milky baby cereal and we also started using the avent white sippy cup top. At this point, she would take 3-5oz per day (I was pumping maybe 6-8 tops).

At seven months, dad went back to work nights, and she started day care. She (now 10.5 mos) eats about 2 cups of solids per day- not from me, only the provider. Nurses 4-5 times per night. And is still a petite nearly 18 lbs. This is all good, except during teething times when she wakes up every 90 mins or so until I come to bed- which means for a few weeks I can't do laundry or check email in the evenings. . .

On the weekends, she doesn't eat as much from us, and doesn't nurse a whole lot either. Seems to make up for it on Sunday afternoon, by which time she is starving!

Sleep: She had been sleeping through the night (8pm to 4-5am) around week 5, that stopped when I went back to work and eventually we morphed into complete co-sleeping (meaning she eventually grew out of the co-sleeper and we (she and I) moved to a futon on the floor of her room. It was too stressful for me (she was always 25% for weight) to think of her not getting enough bm. . .

The not-taking-a-bottle thing was SO stressful! But, everything else has been much easier (well, except occ. biting, and teething, and yeasties)

[cmm]

I went back to work full-time when my son was ten months. He also was nursing about 5 times a day. I pumped at lunch for about three weeks, but stopped because 1) what a pain and 2) my son refused to sip even the littlest bit of breastmilk from a cup or a bottle. He also refused formula, but eventually (around 11.5 mos) accepted whole milk at daycare. He continued to nurse mornings and evenings and (for longer than I would have liked) nights. My supply adjusted beautifully, however, and I can even add an extra feeding or two on weekends. He's fifteen months now and cruising along, happy and healthy. Good luck with the transition back to work!

[Chaya]

Just to point out to Cagey, that nobody recommended not pumping during the day. Rather as far as I read, and granted I didn't read every last comment, people were sharing their experiences. Some women pumped, some women didn't.

[Jen]

I just wanted to thank you all for the great advice and suggestions. My son is 8 months old, and I'm considering returning to work in the next few months while continuing to nurse. I'd been fairly apprehensive about it, as he is a big fan of the nursing, but all of your shared experiences have really helped assuage a lot of my fears. Thanks, Moxie, and the rest of you!

[cagey]

Chaya,
Everybody sharing their experiences? Yes, true. Exactly, as I was sharing mine with what I have heard my lactation consultant consistently say over the past year. I wasn't responding to the comments, but rather to the main paragraph where it was stated that "I think you can get away with not pumping at all." (taken out of context, in reference to her supply if it is adequate). I did state that I wasn't trying to be disagreeable, let me state again, that I really wasn't trying to be disagreeable.

I've just seen too many women disrupt their supply when going back to work and thought I should point out that not pumping at all may hurt a mother's supply. This is particularly critical in the earlier months, although probably not as crucial for this specific case where the reader's child is over 10 months.

[laury]

These are all really helpful comments - thank you! Now I've actually gone back, it seems to be going smoothly. The advice on peeing before you leave the office is absolutely the most useful thing - I am tethered to the breast from the moment I get home at 5. The additional stress I didn't figure on is that the boy is now cutting molars, so we're up all night feeding again! So no worries about supply. I haven't been pumping, btw - just expressing off a little when I have to at midday. Seems to work ok. I'm really appreciating being able to carry on nursing. Thank you all so much!

[sara]

My son is 8 months and I work 4 days a week. I have a really hard time pumping enough while he is gone, so I usually feed from one side starting with his goodnight feeding, and by the time we're up in the morning, I can empty the other breast and send him off to daycare with that. Whatever I'm able to pump during the day before goes with him as well, and the rest they supplement with solid food, which we don't feed him at home except on weekends.

I have noticed cycles with my supply (including one horrible night early on when I realized I had no milk and gave him applesauce (!) instead), but it always resolves. I do find that keeping up the pumping at least twice a day - even if it's only for a few minutes with my hand pump - helps keep things on an even keel.

[abercrombie deutschland]

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