Q&A: gift/toy ideas for kids

Meghan jumped to the front of the line with this question, since shop-'til-you-bleed Friday is in 4 short days:

"For the past week or so, we've been fielding questions about what Cole (20 months) wants for the holidays. The problem is, no one wants to hear the answer - nothing! He has tons of toys and books at home, a lovely daycare full of even more things, and a playroom that we go to regularly that has all of the things we don't have or want at home.

I understand that people want to give him gifts and that they will get joy from selecting something for him, but I don't know what to tell them. I also don't want them buying things we can't or won't use. I want to populate an Amazon wishlist with a few things, but I can't even think about what might be good. He loves vehicles, animals, and football the most, but when I imagine one more digger or one more board book in this house...! Do you think I might want to request stuff he'll appreciate in the future, like art supplies or costumes?  Any ideas at all for affordable, non-plastic, non-crap?"

I'm asking all of the readers to play along here. Tell us in the comments section what your picks are for best gift ideas for kids of different ages and why. The answers we're looking for are going to be skewed toward high-quality or simple toys, or sure-fire hits that are on the cheap side. The fewer parts the better (except for Legos, of course).

Here are my picks:

For babies and toddlers:

A soft, anatomically-correct doll that comes in a bunch of different skin tones. My only beef is that the hat doesn't come off, but it's a great size for toddlers, contain no plastic pellets (that could come out if the doll is the victim of roughhousing), and toddlers seem to love anatomically correct dolls. Also look at the rest of the site for other soft dolls of different colors and dolls in wheelchairs, braces, with guide dog and with hearing aids.

For toddlers:

A Rody. Kids age 17+ months love to bounce around on this thing. Yes, it's bright and it takes up space, but you can deflate it to store it and it has no pieces. And it's good for their balance, plus they can bounce around and get a real workout inside while you're lying on the couch, exhausted straightening up the house.

Musical instruments. Shakers, bells, drums, and all sorts of other instruments are fun for toddlers. (I linked to the A Greater Gift catalog, which sells fair trade items made by craftspeople in their native countries. If you're disgusted with mass-produced factory-made stuff, this catalog has some great alternatives, as well as the famous fair-trade chocolate Advent calendars and Hanukkah gelt.)

Balls. The Gertie ball seems to be a particular favorite, along with plain old tennis balls.

A doll stroller to push around outside.

For 2-year-olds:

The cutting vegetables set. The Melissa & Doug version is wooden, but I've also seen a plastic version. If you have two kids, you'll ned two sets because only one knife (its wooden, don't worry) comes with each set, and they will fight over it.

More musical instruments.

Art supplies.

Play-Dough. A nice gift would be to make a bunch of colors of play-dough (recipe here) and put each in its own ziplock bag and give the whole set, along with a few cookie cutters and some wooden dowels for rolling and scoring.

For 3-year-olds:

Vehicles. Always and forever with the vehicles.

Dress-up clothes (for boys and girls).

Musical instruments and art supplies. Kids this age seem to be really into painting, so some paints and a huge smock would be a nice gift.

For 4-year-olds plus:

Games. iheartnewyork brought up Sorry, Blink, and Uno, but my 4-y-o loves Parcheesi, Balloon Lagoon and Great States Junior as well. They're not too old for the classic (if boring) Candyland and Chutes & Ladders. Games are great to get people of all ages interacting with each other.

 

Any age:

A savings bond, if your country issues savings bonds. They're not the most exciting investment instrument, but they're straightforward ($25 gets you a $50 bond) and they're guaranteed to be worth the face value at maturity. One $50 bond for every gift-giving occasion for a kid could pay for all his or her textbooks in college. If you really want to give something fun, give a matchbox car or action figure or doll along with the bond.

Legos. (Duplos or MegaBloks for kids younger than 5.)

Comments

[ikate]

I echo the savings bond idea. I got one every Christmas and birthday from both grandparents instead of toys/clothes (we had too many already) and they were SOOOO helpful later in life. They paid the deposit on my first apartment!

I will remember that with gratefulness forever while most of the other gifts are long forgotten.

[EJW]

My SIL recently sent out a mass email requesting no more toys/books/clothes for her kids (2 and 4). Instead, if people want to give them something, she suggested season passes to local children's museums or zoos or other activities that they do as a family but that can add up quickly.

[iheartnewyork]

Blocks are also something that last and last and last. Either wooden blocks or those big cardboard blocks you assemble. My kids (boy and girl) have played with those for years. Wooden stringing beads (the larger Melissa & Doug version) are great. An alternative to toys and books is music -- there are some great kids CDs out and some of the classics are definite pleasers (Annie, Really Rosie, my all-time favorite Frog & Toad soundtrack from the short-lived Broadway play...). And also games. A 20 month old isn't going to be ready yet, but some sure fire hits are Sorry, Blink, Uno -- those are all great from 4-5 y.o. and up.

[Gretchen]

We have this issue, as having the only grandchildren on both sides!

One thing we're working on - and had quite a bit of success with - is having them put money into the college funds.

It's hard to limit it, and it's hard to tell people, but the kids still get a lot of great stuff and something toward the future.

Good luck - this one's tough.

[sdh]

A kid can never have too many books!

[Mary]

I agree about books. You may not want any more board books, but there are tons of gorgeous picture books for smaller kids and classic chapter books for older kids. And none of these books are cheap. Ask for books that your kid will grow into. Also? There is the re-gifting factor. Did I say that out loud?

[grad03]

I know people are probably seeking wrappable gifts, but I have two in-person suggestions:

1) Take a child who's five or older to the grocery store and shop for a bag of food for the food bank. Let them plan a meal for a family and put things in the cart. My nephew had a blast with this. He loved making all the choices, and was happy to be giving a present away too.

2) Buy a gift card to a store like Target or some big multi-department store and take them to spend it (again, good for 5+). Especially good after Christmas with the sales, and they can learn a little about money while making their selections.

[SheilaC]

Again voting for the books, and kids' music. Go for quality, classic books with demonstrated literary and artistic value.

If you are worried about giving or receiving duplicates, get a gift certificate for a local bookstore, so the child can go to pick out some new titles in person. My grandmother gave us a certificate every Christmas, and that annual shopping trip is one of my fondest childhood memories. My mom helped us browse, and vetted our choices a bit, to make sure it wasn't all comics and licensed characters.

For a 20 month old, the pretending stage is coming soon, so toys that stimulate imagination and open-ended play will be really great.

Other favourites at our house:
- dress-up clothes that fit many sizes, like hats, crowns, capes, animal ears and tails.
- puppets - a royal family, or a group of animals, either finger puppets or hand sized
- outdoor play toys like balls, hoops, chalk and skipping ropes, buckets and shovels (good for snow as well as sand), bubbles, a kite (the cheap plastic ones with spiral spinning tails fly really well)
- Our boy and girls loved having doll strollers, which also worked for teddy bears, or pretend shopping carts. We use them indoors
- We also love the musical instruments, the more the merrier.

[kelli]

1. Membership for the family at a local children's museum, zoo or aquarium. It takes a bunch of stress off the family when you can just drop by for an hour or two at a time and leave when everyone's in a good mood--not when you've gotten your $40-admission's-worth.

2. My almost 3-year-old is really interested in dollhouses/mini-furniture. It's a little world that he can manipulate.

3. He also loves our art easel with a long roll of paper on one side and a chalkboard on the other. It can go outside when days are nice, and crayons, markers and chalk are out all the time. The roll of used paper makes great wrapping paper as well!

4. I second the cutting food. We just got a Melissa and Doug Sushi cutting set which is really cute. Also, other wooden kitchen stuff is loved by my 1-year-old as well as my 3-year-old: fruits, veg, a steak (?), pots, pans. They love to "help" in the kitchen when I'm making a meal.

5. Costumes and a sheet of acrylic wall mirror. We have hats, shirts/jackets, and a host of silk scarves which my son (3) loves to put on and take off. Mostly, he likes to sit in front of the mirror and dance, and show "J-in-the-mirror" his hat, toy, etc.

6. J would also love a "date" with a friend/relative: a gift card to a bookstore and lunch or ice cream, and the promise of an afternoon where all of the attention focused on him would be very appreciated (by both mom and child, by the way).

7. Both of the boys have 529 accounts to which grandparents have been giving gifts. Then they only send a small gift (a single truck, a book) to open on Christmas morning.

[foodmomiac]

Our 15 month old is totally digging the Melissa and Doug tool box. He loves putting the nails and screws into the holes and banging on things with the little wooden hammer. He also has a plastic tool set from Home Depot that he really likes. He also loves electronics. This isn't very granola-y, but to keep him from nabbing ours, we got him his own cell phone. It plays music and makes lots of beeps.
Our five year old daughter is in the Barbie stage, which actually isn't as terrible as it sounds. She will spend hours making up scenarios. It's pretty creative. She loves dressing them and organizing their clothing. She also likes crafts. She got a "make your own raincoat" kit for her birthday that she loved. Also, a Melissa and Doug musical jewelry box that she decorated herself. Oh, and a GREAT gift was something called Fashion Angels. It's a giant paper doll that you dress in clothing that you create. It comes with patterns that can be cut out, but you can also make your own. The clothing is attached via magnets. Very cool, and good for a lot of play, as you can always buy more fabric.

[amy]

Oh thank you, Mary, for saying the regifting thing out loud. Before I had a kid, I knew I was bad at shopping for children, and I *hoped* the parents would regift or return what wasn't right. It never hurts my feelings.

This year, I'm trying to focus on things to grow into and consumables for my 2.5yo: Books just beyond her ability, too-big dress-up stuff, stickers (esp. foam), art supplies of all varieties already listed, and at the top of our list this year is paint-with-water books.

Paint with water is easy for a little toddler to do. I haven't yet had a problem getting the color off of her hands or clothing, which is nice. These books have been a staple in our house since my tot was 22 months, but they are hard to find. (Watercolor and sticker books are everywhere, though.) This works out for the grandmas, though, because they both like a challenge. :D

[Ariella]

One $50 bond for every gift-giving occasion for a kid could pay for all his or her textbooks in college.

Heheheheh. It's been a long time since you were in college, huh? Try $100 per gift-giving occasion (I'm thinking 2/year) and you'll have enough to pay for five years of college texts (now the norm for people who finish college). My books averaged $700 per semester, and the buy back rate was ludicrous.

[mary (a different one!)]

You know what my MIL did when the kids were small and got too many toys? She took them back, got the cash, and stuck it in their savings account. They then used the cash later to help purchase a car, or at college. I guess this only works if you don't have the givers at your house a lot to see if they are using the gifts! :)

[Becky]

We are facing a similar situation with our nine month old and a great aunt who LOVES to shop. Other than suggesting empty boxes and tissue paper (because the little pumpkin is most likely not going to remember this Christmas anyway), we suggested that relatives buy something that J could give to her daycare. Each classroom has a wish list of things they would like. Another plus, J spends about 40 hours a week there anyway, so she would actually get to use/play with the gift rather than it sitting at home unused. Don't know what we are going to do as she grows older, but I like the college/pony fund idea.

[Maria]

Season passes to museums etc is a great idea. Little guys don't last long, so it's nice to know that you can leave after an hour without wasting a fortune.

Arts and crafts stuff is good too--stickers, washable markers.

What is he interested in? Trucks, dolls, trains? My son loves his wooden train set, so my parents and in-laws give him tracks and trains for it every Christmas. If you find something that you can build on and will grow with him, grandparents might have fun adding to his collection.

There's always clothes, as well--preferrably in the next size up for him to grow in to!

[lb]

My kids get a magazine subscription from their grandparents and they just love it. What kid doesn't like to get mail!? We get Chickadee and Chirp, but I think they may be Canadian. I'm sure there are great kids magazines available in the US. The nice thing about this gift is that it keeps arriving in the mail all year, so the child is constantly reminded of the giver.

[hedra]

Man, my son Brendan would LOVE a pony fund!

Having just celebrated the birthday for the 9 year old, 5 year old, and two 2 year olds, these are the big hits:

9 - books, plus an MP3 player with "REAL" music on it (blues, classical, some alternative, bluegrass, and scottish traditional). He got the small player (Disney version, not iPod). And lego. LEGO LEGO LEGO. Plus he's still into dressup, so fabric to make some cool 'winterwear' capes (fleece).

5 - books, lego, dressup. Action figures are also popular, but he really plays most with the lego and the dressup. Don't be fooled by the packaging, even the bionicle lego are still highly creative items - there are quite a number of inventions floating around our house as a result (the latest being a suction-based lawnmower that generates rabbit feed pellets through a process of tubes and spirals).

2 - TRUCKS and BALLS and the evil and ubiquitous stuffed animals. Plus books. A plain basic yellow dumptruck has been the major hit with Meriel. She screamed and then threw back her head and laughed with joy when she opened that. She didn't even play with the box! It was TWUK! TWUK! all day long, and daily since. Her sister went equally nuts over the football and baseball grandma got her.

Now, if my ILs would just donate to the college/pony fund... that'd rock.

[Sarah]

I feel like we bought most of the good stuff when my daughter was small and as my son grows the stuff is still there, perfectly fine. It amkes the shopping harder.

Melissa & Doug is almost always a winner at our house. As are costumes, art supplies and puzzles.

I love getting annual admission/season passes. And this year we actually had a family friend help us contribute to our local zoo for their new giraffe exhibit. My daughter (age 5) thinks it is awesome her name is on the wall.

And for games--we love Zingo. It's like Bingo, but with pictures and a few more twists. The 2 and 5 year old can both play.

[Erin]

The best gifts we get are swimming lessons and gymnastics lessons for our toddler. They are expensive for us but for grandparents they are the perfect gift. If grandma takes them to the lesson, even better!
We also like bath toys and pail/shovel sets for the cottage in the summer and bath in the winter.

[Melis]

I echo the savings bond suggestion-my mother started buying these last year for all the kids when it was decided that my brother's kids are spoiled enough and it was time to sock some money away. I love it because my son is only 2 so when the bonds mature, I can cash them in and buy 2 new ones with the money....the gift that keeps giving!

"Santa" is bringing new & improved sippy cups, fancy forks and spoons (I am SO sick of take 'n' toss!), as well as a few Thomas trains. My son absolutely loves the die-cast Take Along Thomas, and since they are small (but not so small he'll eat them), we've been picking them up here and there.

[Shelley]

Kids' CDs. The favorites in my house are "A Day At The Farm with Farmer Jason," and "Farmer Jason Rocks The Forest" (http://www.farmerjason.com) by alt-country legend Jason Ringenberg. So many kids' CDs are lousy and/or irritating to the parents, but these are charming and fun for all ages -- my 3-y-o LOVES them, and I'd say up to age 10 or so these would be a hit.

[ikate]

Another idea - not sure of the age level though.

Books on tape, not the store bought ones, but where the gift giver reads the books. My mom does this for the grandkids, also purchasing them the books so the kids can "read along"...it's a great way for them to connect with an out-of-town grandma. My sister tells me they are also great for longer car rides (much better then the portable DVD player!)

[Sarah]

So many good ideas so far: we always ask for books for our daughter...

I think someone already mentioned but I have to second, magazine subscriptions. There are so many good ones out there for kids. When you are done you can donate them or cut them up for craft projects or recycle them so they don't hang around forever and you don't have to worry about the gifter expecting to see them around when they visit!

[Nell]

Many great ideas here!

I don't think a kid can ever have too many books. Along the lines of art supplies, I would suggest bathtub crayons and bathtub clay. Also, Schleich animal figurines are great. They are well-made and fairly realistic, and duplicates just make for matching games or a herd.

[Aurora]

I echo the books, blocks, bath coloring stuff too, and the college fund stuff... I so appreciate my MIL doing that.
Also, giving one small gift (for those who need something wrappable) and a donation in the child's name to a local, national or international charity is an awesome gift. We try to find something local, but Heifer International and UNICEF are big favs.

[Jessica Waltman]

There are so many great suggestions here! Moxie, I can't thank you enough for that baby doll link. I have been looking and looking for a baby doll for my 7-month old's stocking and this is perfect!

For kids age four and up, one of my favorite gifts is Illustory, a kit where kids can write and illustrate their own book. The cost of the $20 kit includes mailing the book away and having a professionally printed and bound book mailed back to you. I plan on giving my almost 4 year old one every year for her birthday as long as she is cooperative as a momento and a way of tracking her academic progress. We have also given it to countless older friends/cousins as birthday or Christmas gift. http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/sr=1-1/qid=1164139921/ref=sr_1_1/602-0693552-2885423?ie=UTF8&asin=0963679600

For the mom of the 20 month old, so far, my 3 1/2 year old daughter's favorite toys have been her dress-ups, art supplies and play-dough, and her fisher-price doll house. A good choice for your son's age might be the leapfrog refridgerator magnets. There is a single letter set good for 18 months+, a word building game set that uses the same letters as the easier version for about age 3 and up, and a barnyard animal/color game set 18 months +, that we have all enjoyed. Wooden puzzles and the Melissa and Doug sets, blocks and legos , and of course books. You can ask for non-board books for when he is just a little older.

My daughter also likes games and many good ones have already been mentioned. I don't think the Cranium games have been yet, though, and those have been a big hit here too. Another favorite is her play kitchen and food (a hand-me-down from a cousin) and her "castle" which is one of those pop-up forts that loves in her closet when not in use. I didn't think this would be a good gift when we got it, but she uses it for imaginary play almost every day and will even sometimes still take a nap if it is in her castle! Hers is a girly Princess castle, but it is along the lines of this: http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/sr=1-2/qid=1164140968/ref=sr_1_2/602-0693552-2885423?ie=UTF8&asin=B00002SSWQ

[joline]

I didnt read all the selections but my favorite gifts are consumables! Play Doh and washable crayons! Color Wonder paints, books.
My kids LOVE these but play doh gets hard and ruined in no time, we have to replace it several times a year. Crayons get lost and broken, Plus kids like them best fresh and new and sharp! So even though with 2 3 year olds and a 4 year old we seem to have at least one of every toy ever invented (sheesh, they are hard for ME to shop for), I always welcome these items.
Joline

[afrindiemum]

i forgot about that anatomically correct doll! thanks for reminding me. z's getting one of the potty ones for xmas. so... any idea where else to get those? i'd like the black girl on a potty version, but they don't seem to carry her :(

[Jo-Ann]

Thank you so much for the link for the anatomically correct soft doll. My 17 month old is doll crazy right now and I ordered him the boy doll. It is so cute! The company shipped the doll fast and included free finger puppets. I was really at a loss as to what to get him. Thanks again

Jo-Ann

[Helen]

I believe in paper. The gift of a big sketchbook (not wire bound) and a box of crayons generally gets used by kids, and paper gets used so even if they have* paper they can always use more.

[Jo Ann]

I know this comment comes WAY late, but maybe somebody is still reading this and looking for ideas. I wanted to say, about the M&D food-cutting set, that M&D customer service is just terrific! We got that set last summer, and I called M&D to ask where could I buy an extra knife (because my two kids were fighting over the one knife - all.the.time!) They sent me another knife, free, no questions asked.