Happy Birthday to Ask Moxie

Ask Moxie is one year old today (the 26th)! Here's the post that started it all.

In honor of today's anniversary, I thought we could all share our most egregious parenting mistakes from the last year (or so). I'll leave this post up Sunday and Monday so everyone can play. I'll start:

Some of you already know that when my older son was just crawling (at around 9 months), I found him eating something brown one day, and panicked, thinking it was chocolate. When I pulled it out of his mouth I discovered that it was cat poop that he'd fished out of the litterbox while I wasn't looking.

[I'll wait while you all give a collective shudder at that image.]

This year's Unbelievably Bad Mommy Moment happened over the summer at the playground. My older son was running around playing with his friends, and the baby (15 months) was walking around the playground. I was following him to make sure he didn't brain himself on any play equipment or bite anyone. At a certain point I followed him to one side of a play structure and started talking to another mom there. He walked under the structure and rolled onto his tummy on the other side. I continued yakking, but could see his feet kicking on the ground on the other side of the play structure the whole time.

Suddenly a dad came running toward me, yelling, "Is that your baby on the ground?!?!?!" I freaked out and ran to my son, thinking he'd been run over by an errant scooter or clobbered by a soccer ball. All I saw when I got there was my son lying on his stomach, kicking happily, with a squirrel a foot or two away from him. One of the moms said, "That squirrel was trying to sniff him."

If you know anything about urban playground squirrels, you know that they're not docile, they're not afraid, and they're waaay smarter than we think squirrels are supposed to be. So I wasn't sure why a squirrel would be trying to sniff my kid, and was Not Happy At All about this. But I gathered up my son and he started chewing on his fingers. I looked at the squirrel and noticed that it wasn't moving, and seemed to be looking a little weak. Then the squirrel fell over onto its side and started kicking its leg helplessly. Like it was sick and dying.

Then it got worse. A middle-school girl ran up to me and told me that she'd seen my son grabbing the squirrel's tail and yanking it, pulling it from side to side repeatedly. For several minutes.

There are no words to express how I felt in this moment. Insert your own. Start with "dumbass," if you must.

Of course I couldn't tell my husband that I'd let our baby fondle a dying mammal's fur and then stick his hands in his mouth. I know squirrels don't carry rabies, but who knows what else made that squirrel sick? (It ran off, either to live another day or to die in dignity alone in the bushes instead of on the playground in front of everyone.) So I watched the baby like a hawk for two weeks, and when he was exactly the same I finally exhaled.

Anyone else? (If you want to post anonymously, put a fake URL in the "URL" field in the comments.)

Comments

[Kate]

I don't remember when this happened--maybe a year ago?--but I was showering with my toddler (figure she was approx a year and a half). I did it all the time; still do.

Anyway, for some reason (pregnancy hormones?) my brain checked out and I let her play with the bar of regular Ivory soap. It was all slippery fun and games until she rubbed her eyes. Holy $&*#. Worst Mother Ever. (WHAT WAS I THINKING?!)

I'm sure I have more...just have to think of them.

[Amy]

When my daughter was walking, but still wobbly (11 months), she stood up in the doorway to her bedroom, right in front of my leg. She ended up almost straddling my leg, but facing away from me, and I stepped forward. Bounced her right into the doorframe, head first. She had the BIGGEST bruised goosebump in the MIDDLE of her forehead for weeks. Every time she cried, it would turn darker purple and swell up.

[Shelley]

My moment(for this year)happened just recently. I was taking my 2 kids for a walk in the stroller. When I got to the end of our driveway I decided to check the mail so I let go of the stroller without putting the brake on, completely forgetting that our driveway is on a slope. I looked up to see the stroller making its way at some pace towards the busy road, and only managed to get a hand on it at the last minute. I'm sure I must have looked pretty funny to the kids at the school across the road. I never could bring myself to tell my husband about it.

[Colleen]

On a recent outting to a world-famous coffee shop, I placed my toddler on my lap but stupidly left my mocha latte within her reach while I was on the cell with my husband. She pulled it towards her and it tipped over, spewing across her face, neck and chest. THANK GOD it wasn't hot any longer, but only luke warm. However, she has a dairy sensitivity so as the milky latte dripped down her, it caused hives to spring up on all of her exposed skin. I was so relieved she wasn't scalded that I barely noticed the hives, something that normally freaks me out.

[Joanne]

About a month ago, I pulled a Wonder Woman by carrying my six month old in one arm and a full laundry basket in the other and proceeded down the stairs. About four or five steps from the bottom I slipped and we wiped out landing on the floor. Thank God my little one was okay. In mid-air I somehow managed to tuck her into a safe position (Although she got a good scare and cried...poor thing). As for me, I landed on a nicely padded butt cheek and split my pants AND panties.
I've vowed to never try that balancing act again.

[Melissa]

Just recently I knocked my toddler into our porch swing while trying to rush inside. Big goose egg and a scratch on his forehead.

[Melanie]

Recently my daughter had the stomach flu. She had been puking for a couple of days, but was antsy to get some fresh air, so just before I was to arrive home, her nanny took her outside to meet me. When I picked her up, I noticed this really horrible vomit smell. I asked her nanny if she had vomited again, but she said no, that today was good and that she wondered if she had puked on her jacket sometime in the previous day. So, I dismissed the nanny for the day and promised that I would wash my DD's jacket that night.

DD was fussy, but wanted to play, so I let her roam with the other kids in the neighbor's back yard. Standing downwind of her, all the moms commented how she smelled so bad, how I needed to wash that coat, etc. About 45 minutes later I went home and stripped her, only to discover that sometime just before I got home she had had massive diarrhea of the very sick variety - you know, that stuff that smells like vomit and stomach bile. Thus the smell. All the while I was discussing how I needed to wash my daughter's jacket, she was running around with diarrhea running down her legs. Nice.

Ok, I think I win the worst mother award. Top that!

[Stephanie]

This is certainly not the worst, but since it happened this weekend, I'll share.

Saturday morning we got up and I told my 20 month old, "Music class today!" We then spent the morning singing the songs we would sing in class to gear up for when it would be time to go. Once it was time we piled into the car and drove over. I pulled into the parking lot, saw one other car (there are usually about 10), and thought, "hmm. Maybe there's no class because of the holiday. Well, let's try anyway." I got Jamie out of the car, he ran up the door, and pulled. It was locked. I tried it too. Locked. He then stood there and cried, saying, "Open? Help you?" I felt terrible! He was so excited to go to class, and since I was too dumb to look at a schedule, I broke his little heart. I piled my crying child in the car and took him home.

[Shandra]

One recent one I had was that I was letting my 15 month old play in the bedroom while I folded laundry. I watched him find a sample-sized shampoo bottle (with a twist-off lid) and decided he couldn't get into it... 3 minutes later I was calling poison control as he foamed at the mouth. Literally. Le sigh!

[Meira]

I once brushed my son's teeth with yeast infection cream.
Ofcourse, in the year that's past I've completely forgotten the story that goes along with it.

But this year, my toddler twins snuck upstairs and proceeded to 'clean' some of their finger puppets in the TOILET. Not so unusual in toddler land, except for the fact that I being investigated in the dining room by a social worker from CPS when they did it. Not exactly the best timing for normal toddler adventures. Luckily, she had a sense of humor.

[SarcastiCarrie]

My son was in the stroller and I was pushing him down the side of US-51. We hit a big bump and he started to cry. I told him he was a big boy and OK, it was just a startling bump. He kept whining, so I handed him a sippy cup. A while later he was still whimpering, so I got to a safe place and pulled to the side to look him in the eye and reassure him he was fine. When I got to the front of the stroller, I discovered the whole thing and the baby (15 mos old at the time) were covered in BLOOD. He had bitten his lip or tongue when we hit the bump. I don't feel as bad as I should because my mother-in-law was with me at the time and didn't notice it either. I ended up carrying him back to the camp on my shoulder (over a mile) while MIL pushed the stroller (he would not go to her for this). He fell asleep on teh way back. We all ended up covered in blood and when we got back to camp, everyone wanted to know what happened.

[hedra]

Last week.

Rowan and Meriel (2 years old!) are getting quite good at navigating the stairs. I generally follow along right behind them, just in case, but there haven't been any just-in-cases lately. Not even near-just-in-cases.

So, as the girls followed daddy up to the bedtime ritual (Meriel first, Rowan second), I paused, picked up the laundry basket (hey, they're getting up and down fine, I don't have to make an extra trip for a change!), and put my head around the corner into the living room to admonish the older two to clean up their stuff and get up to bed quickly. I turn back to the stairs just in time to see Rowan start CARTWHEELING down the stairs, sideways, from the top step. She hit her head slightly (good use of hands, there - caught the force of it), and then complete inversion in the air going two steps down, bounced off her feet, complete inversion in mid-air again, and I caught her at the horizontal point in the laundry basket. She hit with enough force that it ripped the handles off and slammed the basket to the steps, but I caught it with my legs. She landed gently on top of the clean clothes, and was so unharmed that she cried for only a moment before wanting down.

Daddy saw the whole thing.

I don't remember if I screamed anything. I only have picture with the memory - everything is totally silent. Part of my brain froze up, I think.

Daddy installed a hand rail at their height Thanksgiving morning. And ain't NOBODY going up or down stairs without a spotter, even with the hand rail.

Still have a knot in my throat over that one.

[hedra]

Oh, and I have no recollection of getting mid-way up the stairs with the basket, either. I think I must have teleported.

[Maniacal]

I hope my husband doesn't read this site! LOL

Two things that happened that still haunt me!

I had a sandwich and a knife on the end table in the living room and didn't see my 12 month old grab the nife and start to walk with it. She only got about 3 - 4 steps, BUT STILL!!!!

Just yesterday we were downstairs in the family room and we were watching TV and I didn't notice that my 13 month old started crawling up the stairs till she got all the way to the top stair. OH. MY. GOD! DAMN she's fast now that she's walking!!

[Vanessa]

When my daughter was about two months old, we were getting ready to go meet Daddy for lunch at his work. I had lots of last minute things to do to get out the door, so I put her down in her carseat and rushed around. Then I popped the fleece car seat cover on top and went out the door to the car. When we got to the office, Daddy took off the cover to show off our girl to some co-workers, and we both noticed that I had never fastened her car seat straps. All that was holding her in place was the fleece car seat cover.

[Jennifer]

This didn't really endanger my daughter (really more me!), but was super stupid nonetheless....

When my daughter was between the ages of 4 and 8 months, I was working 50% time. My husband would bring her up to school and I would walk her home in the Bjorn every afternoon(about a 45 minute walk). One day in May, I decided, "Man, it's been a long time since I wore some nice shoes. I think I'll wear these lovely wedge-heeled espadrilles since it's a beautiful spring day!" The wedge was higher than I realized--the walk shouldn't have been done in these shoes even without a Bjorn. About 2 minutes into the walk I realized my mistake, but just decided to keep going. The resulting sciatica has just cleared up in the past week. Stupid shoe fetish--stupid vanity.

[callie]

I bit my two year old! He bites me and only me, lately more than ever because we have a new baby. I picked him up to carry him to bed- he was way overtired and crabby bc I had a doctor's appointment that took forever. He buried his head into the crook of my arm and sunk his teeth in hard. I instinctively bit his arm, which was wrapped around my neck. He howled as loud as the day is long. I will never, ever forgive myself. Guess my old refrain of no biting, it hurts! will have to change since his mother can't even follow it. Top that.

[SprengBlingBling]

Our worst dumb parent moment was this summer, when my husband didn't lock the stroller at the top of the porch steps and it crashed down six steps end-over-end, resulting in a skull fracture for our five month old!

But that wasn't Mommy. Haha. My worst Mommy moment came when he was about two months old. I was carrying him down the steps in one arm up against my chest and when I got to the bottom, I turned to close the door and took my hand off his back. Forgetting little babies are floppy. He bent backward, practically in half at the hips, and started screaming. I started crying thinking I broke his spine or something. He was fine, but I never did that again.

[Anne]

My son must have been around 4 1/2-5 months old at the time and I was trying out/practicing doing a back carry in my mei tai. Things were going WONDERFULLY! DS was peacefully sleeping on mommy’s back and I was getting SOOOOO much housework done! I was loving life, loving my mei tai, wanting to share the goodness of the mei tai with all mommas around the world ..... then CRACK! I misjudged a corner and smacked my poor sleeping son’s head in the doorway. He roused briefly and cried for a bit then fell back to sleep (sheepishly) I went back to cleaning but I’ve been extra careful about corners and such ever since.

[Candice]

Well this is my first time here...so I thought I'd start with my proudest parenting moment (not) I had a 1 month old and my 2 1/2 year old son. I stepped out to check the mail and Evan wa trying to get out. I told him no and closed the door (a metal screen door) with some difficulty. I then sat down to nurse the baby.

Evan stood at the door having what I assumed was a tantrum. I yelled at him to get away from the door, that we would go out later. He kept on for at least 5 minutes and just as I was about to really lose it he said "Stuck mommy!!!"

Well omg I seriously almost threw up. I had shut his foot in the door. I though it was hard to close because he was trying to push it open. Nope...it was his foot. He was fine once I freed him lol...not even a bruise but I cried for hours. He was even asking me what was wrong...why was mommy crying? He didn't even remember what had happened lol!!

[Ellen]

I can relate to the non-scalding mocha story. Been there, did that, at home with my coffee on the endtable and a newly-pulling up baby.

But this week we found a washer- yunno, like nuts and bolts -in our daughter's poop. Albeit a small washer, but still. That will be this week's story. There's always one to tell.

[Jane Plane]

Like the best dumb parenting stories that I am willing to tell, at least, mine started with self-satisfied hubris, had some horrifying ignorance in the middle, and ended with laughter and no lasting harm.

So I had a friend over with her three month-old when my older son was 15 months old. Both of our husbands were out of town, and we were proud of ourselves for navigating our single parenthood so aptly. We were cooking dinner, and I had my son on the counter next to me so he could help me, when I noticed that he was playing with the plunger on the toaster, which was sitting next to him on the counter.

As the "enlightened" parent I imagined myself to be (See the hubris I was mentioning?), I thought I would let him play with the toaster, but safely! So I unplugged it. (Aaaaaaaand, here's the ignorance!) And continued preparing dinner while talking to my friend.

A couple of minutes later was when I noticed he'd pulled two knives from the chopping block that was ALSO next to him on the counter, was waving one in the air while jamming the other into one of the slots in the toaster.

Horrified, I got the knives back, put him down on the floor with a real toy, and then collapsed laughing at my own stupidity. I still sometimes get the giggles when I get the mental image of him, bearing knives, sitting on the kitchen counter.

[Menita]

Oh, by now there's plenty.
Whacked Polly's head against the car door as I was taking her out of her car seat. And again when I was putting her back in.
Closed two doors on her fingers. Still functioning.
Momentarily set Jack down on the dining room table to stop Polly yanking at the table cloth. That one was really, really smart. Caught Jack right at the edge of disaster.
Let Polly play with her daddy's Head and Shoulders in the shower. And watched as she rubbed her eyes and oh boy.
Gave Polly the cap of a Snapple bottle to play with. She put it in her mouth. It was not pretty.
I'm amazed my kids are surviving us.

Thank you for having this blog, and happy anniversary!

[pnuts mama]

happy anniversary! so glad i found you through jamie selkie's blog back a ways...

our dumb parenting moment this past week came on thanksgiving morning, pnut is teething (again!!) and had a wicked diaper rash, so we let her air it out and play while the parade was on while we got all the sides ready in the kitchen. i pop my head in and out of the living room frequently enough to keep an eye on her, but not frequently enough that morning! i look in and see her making the worst, most offended face i have ever seen, with her hands up to her mouth holding something brown-- ugh!! i leapt over the babygate yelling nooooooooo in slowmotion as my husband went for the wipes- she had pooped right on the carpet and decided to give it a try- uck!! at least she didn't like it! i was more surprised that she had pooped and no one had heard her- normally she grunts up a storm when it's time to go. sigh. i'd need my own blog to list all the other mistakes i've made.

[Purple_Kangaroo]

Last weekend I went out to eat for the first time in months. I thought I was being so careful, sticking to just a plain baked potato and salad at Sweet tomatoes. I put olive oil and rice wine vinegar on my salad.

The next time I nursed Baby E her little faced puffed up and got rashy, and she started in with the stomach pain. It took me several more nursing sessions to connect the dots and figure out that it was something in my milk rather than something else she'd been exposed to that was making her sick.

I contacted the restaurant, only to find out that the vinegar had corn syrup in it. I'd noticed it tasted slightly sweet but brushed it off because I'd never had rice wine vinegar before, and maybe it was slightly sweet.

Nothing like poisoning your child with your own breastmilk. Baby E is very allergic to corn.

[The Tricyclist]

One recent story to share.

As Christmas nears, I am crafting up a storm, with my little craft-supply basket always nearby. Said basket includes a pair of embroidery scissors. Does everyone know what they look like? Basically, they are tiny (which makes them especially appealing to kids, I think), but also very pointy and sharp. Very sharp.

Saturday afternoon while I am sewing on the couch, my 3 year old gets ahold of the scissors. My husband and I both tell him sternly to put the scissors down, give us the scissors immediately, etc. while we slowly close in on him from both sides, trying to get close enough to grab the scissors safely.

Sensing that the jig is up, our 3 year old opts for one last act of defiance. Instead of giving us the scissors, he throws them. They fly directly into a nearby carseat. Which contains our baby.

My husband and I were both horrified. We had visions of taking our 5 month old to the ER with tiny scissors poking out of his tiny eye. He was fine, thank God. Not a scratch, or even a peep. Had no idea he'd nearly been hit with a sharp flying object.

Now I make sure I know where those scissors are at all times. Won't be repeating that scenario.

[Jill]

My son once got a plastic Easter egg stuck in his mouth. I'd given it to him to play with thinking it was too big. guess not

[Erica]

While my daughter was napping, I decided to eat lunch (leftovers from the night before) in the living room. She woke up before I was finished and I just set the plate on the end table and got her, and a few minutes later I finished eating and put my plate in the dishwasher. While I was doing that, I thought to myself, "she's a little too quiet." Always a warning sign I've learned. This was around the same time that she started pulling up. I found her at the end table in the living room chewing on the steak knife I'd accidentally left behind! She was fine, thank God.

Another from her first year that still terrifies me to think of could've ended very badly. I swaddled my infant when she went to sleep, she was probably around 3 months or so. I woke up to a strange noise on the monitor in the middle of the night, sort of an "uh, uh, uh" sound. I was going to ignore it as she'd often stir in the middle of the night and go back to sleep herself, but I decided to get up and check her. She had wriggled free of the blanket and it was wrapped tightly around her face! That was the last night I ever swaddled her.

[Meena]

Sorry about the squirrel incident.

The cat poop reminded me...my daughter puts everything in her mouth, still (she's now 15 months old. A few months ago, I saw put something in her mouth and ran over to see what it was. It was cat vomit. Is that worse than cat poo? I don't know. Even worse, it happened AGAIN not too long ago. Damn cats. And darn girl, when is she going to stop putting EVERYTHING in her mouth!?!? We now canvas the room for "surprises" before letting her roam about.

[Rachel]

When my daughter Brooke was around 18 months, we'd have a heck of time with her waking in the middle of the night. If she awoke, it was extremely difficult to get her to go back to bed. On this particular morn' I was downstairs with her watching Elmo at about 4 or 5 am, as my attempts to rock her back to sleep had failed. I had the seats reclined and we were laying down together with a blanket. Next thing I know, it's around 6:30 or 7 in the morning and my husband is carrying Brooke downstairs and the TV's got the white noise going. I had fallen asleep on the couch, Brooke got down off the couch, climbed up the steps, and walked to her room and was playing. My husband happened to hear her on the monitor and thought I was in there playing with her. So she played for over an hour BY HERSELF in the room before he realized he didn't hear me at all over the monitor. She could've walked back to the steps at any point... or in the bathroom... or quite possibly anywhere she'd wanted. Boy am I a great mom!

Then, this past summer, while vacationing in Florida, I was hurriedly putting my girls in the double stroller. I plopped my youngest daughter Faith (about 9 or 10 months at the time) in the front seat of the stroller and picked Brooke up to put her in back. We were right by the street, so I felt urgency to get Brooke in. Well, next thing I know, Faith has face-planted right into the black top. I'd forgotten to buckle her in OR put the tray on to lock her in. She just fell right out!! As she screamed her head off with her little nose scraped I felt like scum of the earth!

Thank goodness they won't remember....

[Charisse]

Late to the party, but Happy Birthday Moxie!! I think my worst one was when I poured a dinnertime cup of milk for my 2 year old, noticed in some back corner of my brain that the milk looked a little weird, and decided it didn't smell rotten so it was probably OK. Then I did the same with the bedtime cup.

Then after bedtime the dregs in the cup looked like curds and I thought "weird, maybe there was some soap that didn't rinse off in the dishwasher or something"...and then it wasn't until I went to clean up dinner and found something resembling yogurt in the cup that I thought "uh oh"--by then Mouse had had about 6 or 8 ounces of it, and more from that carton earlier in the day.

So yeah, 24 hours later, technicolor, voluminous, shrieking barfs for 3 hours. Then she was fine, thank god.

But hello, food safety? Mom? To this day I have no idea where my head was.

[Asha]

How did I miss this? I blame my feed reader, which seems to have something against me. No matter...I just wanted to say congrats on a wonderful year, and thank you for all of the goodness you've launched into the world with Ask Moxie.

The only blemish on my otherwise PERFECT parenting record is when I tried to carry the baby, two grocery bags, and my purse to the front door, which I then attempted to unlock with my key. Dropped the baby on his head. He was fine, but I was horrified by how easily a stupid slip-up could result in disaster. Lesson learned.