Q&A: babyproofing

Meghan writes:

My seven-month old seems seconds away from crawling, so my husband and I have stopped procrastinating and are babyproofing the house. I don't want my house to be wrapped in foam, but I do want to have a safe environment. We've installed a gate at the top of the stairs and plugged up all the outlets. We have kitchen cabinet locks and a foam edge for the fireplace.  I want to be reasonable about it, but I got overwhelmed shopping for babyproofing products--I spent far too much time examining babyproofing product websites--if they make a foam bumper helmet, maybe I need it?! Maybe I do need to anchor my bookshelves to the wall? I'm beginning to feel irrational about this and my husband is skeptical that we need any of it. How much babyproofing is reasonable?

And a second issue: yesterday my MIL scoffed at our plug covers and said she wouldn't babyproof her house, she would just keep an eye on the baby (as if I don't ever watch my daughter and that is why I am babyproofing my house). My inlaws live nearby and want to babysit at their house. I want to insist that they do a minimal amount of babyproofing if they are going to babysit there, but how much is reasonable?"

Everyone's going to have a different position on this. I think people mostly break down into three types of babyproofers: people who babyproof everything they possibly can, people who only babyproof things that would kill the kid or make them want to kill the kid, and people who babyproof nothing. As usual, I'm weighing in with a vote for moderation, both for the parents' sake and for the kids' sake.

People who babyproof everything are obviously doing it out of love, but I think they're driving themselves crazy trying to imagine every possible dangerous scenario. They're also taking the chance that their children won't learn to be properly impressed with dangerous situations and will do risky things later on just because they don't know they're dangerous. What if the coffee table at home is padded but it isn't at a friend's, and the kid runs right into the corner at high speed because she never got bumped gently by the coffee table at home while she was crawling? Too much protection gives kids a false idea of the basic principles of physics, as well as the capabilities of their own bodies. Plus, there's always something more you can do, so you're setting yourself up for a nervous breakdown.

The moderate route is to think about the situations that are truly dangerous (serious injury or death) and protect for those. So gating off stairs, plugging up outlets, and putting locks on cabinets and drawers containing poisonous stuff. Walk around with your head down low and look for things that could kill or seriously hurt a child at a crawling and walking level. Then think about things that would make you despair or rage if they were disturbed, like tall towers of CDs, wine racks, flat-panel televisions, original artwork. Gate them off and you'll be able to enjoy life so much more, knowing your child isn't going to cause $3,000 worth of damage in 2 minutes or make you spend 30 minutes picking up discs and putting them back in their cases.

Part of this moderate approach is realizing that not all kids are attracted to the same things. We went to friends' house once and El Chico made a beeline for the unguarded wine rack and began pulling out bottles. The dad was shocked, because their daughter had never shown the least bit of interest in the wine. But they had a lock on the refrigerator, which I thought was goofy until I learned that their daughter liked to go in and yank the carton of milk off the shelf, spilling it all over the floor. Similarly, I thought toilet locks were overkill until my nephew stuffed a golf ball down my SIL's toilet and the plumber couldn't get it out and had to replace the whole toilet. A toilet lock is way cheaper than a toilet. So you should cover the basics, but keep an eye out for what attracts your particular kid and be prepared to act swiftly if you need to put up gates or locks or just move the items up to a high shelf.

Speaking of shelves, if you have a climber, you should make sure all your shelves are anchored to the wall so your child won't pull one on top of him/herself while trying to climb one. Having said that, only our heaviest shelf is anchored, because neither of our boys has tried to climb shelves. Again, you need to watch and learn from your own kid.

People who babyproof nothing are operating under the assumption that 1) they're going to be right on top of the kid all the time, and 2) a child will learn to avoid or negotiate the things in his/her environment. I do believe that kids become fluent in navigating their environments with time, even once that have dangerous objects. But. I also don't want to trust that I'm going to be 100% on top of my child every second of the day, when it comes to things like toxic chemicals and electricity. Maybe some parents are that vigilant, but I do things like cooking meals, going to the bathroom, sneezing, and answering the phone, and sometimes just spacing out or sneaking into another room to eat a few spoonsful of Ben and Jerry's.

I'd rather just eliminate one source of stress by plugging up the outlets and gating stairs and locking up the bleach. My older son is 4.5 and he has no interest in sticking objects into our outlets, despite our having plugged them up when he was a toddler. So I think that kids will learn the important lessons if you keep reinforcing them, even if they aren't given free reign to experience logical consequences. Especially when the logical consequence is death.

So I'd tell your MIL that if she won't plug up the outlets (and proof any other cause of potential death, like a swimming pool or tall set of stairs) then your daughter can't be there for more than 10-15 minutes at a time. She doesn't need to pad her fireplace (although it should be gated in some way while there's a fire going in it, obviously) or her furniture, but electrical outlets are no joke. If she continues to scoff, then no babysitting until your daughter is older. (And yes, you're the mother, and you get to make this decision, and if you let your MIL overrule you now it will never stop. But you already know that, which is why you wrote me to get some validation.:)) If you show up at her house with the outlet plugs, then she's going to look like a real ass if she doesn't let you put them in her outlets.

BTW, my #1 top pick for Most Useful Babyproofing Object is the Safety 1st outlet cover that has a new plate that you switch in for the regular plate. It has notches on it so you can plug cords into the outlets, then snap a cover over the plate so that the cords stay plugged in but protected. Kids can yank on the cords, but they can't pull them out of the outlets or make any sparks. They let you keep floor lamps or other applicances plugged in but not a hazard. Pure genius, and I hope they make a bazillion dollars off this idea. I got mine at Buy Buy Baby but of course OneStepAhead.com has them, too.

It sounds to me like you've already got your house covered. Unless your kid has a major balance problem or clotting/bruising disease, you can skip the helmet. Every kid has to go through months and months of bumps and bruises to learn how to negotiate the world. You just need to protect them from serious injuries, not all possible problems. Good luck with your MIL.

Comments

[Slim]

I don't know exactly which category I fall into; I have done enough childproofing that no one could get *seriously* injured if left unsupervised long enough for Mommy to attend to an intestinal virus.

I would, however, like to make a quick plea for gates at the top and the bottom of staircases. Crawling leads to climbing, and I want to be able to shut down that particular activity when I'm not there to stop him from falling down after climing all the way to the top.

[Kelly]

We did the moderate baby proofing bit and yes, he ended up with some bumps from the coffee table (before he learned to duck his head better). He's fallen enough times that he knows how to catch himself pretty well now, and he also knows *exactly* which cabinets are locked and which aren't (and have loud noisy banging pans or hundreds of plastic tubs to "play" with...yeah, we need to fix that).

The one thing I'd never have imagined having to worry about though was table lamps. At my MiL's house there was a smallish table lamp that he found and in the 10 seconds between turning to talk to her in another room he'd grabbed a very hot bulb and given himself 2nd degree burns across his hand. We don't have table lamps at our house, so I'd never have thought to watch him around them.

Hopefully, everyone else's mileage will vary from this!

[Meira]

We childproofed fairly well with the first (8 yrs ago) and have barely childproofed at all with the twins -- mainly because we moved with the first and it was easier to childproof as we unpacked.
Back then, I read of another reason for childproofing -- the idea that they are about to attach to the using the word "No" to you, and the less you have to use it with them (the less times you have to say "No touching!") the longer it will take for them to attach to the word, and maybe you can bypass most of their use of it altogether? Who knows? lol

[Num Num]

A word from the grandma (and mil) gallery: whenever a mil/grandma tells you what to do with your baby, she's testing your limits, just the way a child tests your limits. You can't avoid the conflict. She will eventually see that she's not the mother.

[julia]

If you could see me, you'd know I'm nodding in complete agreement. Moderation is the way to go!

[Kate]

A vote for moderation, but also see what your child is attracted to.

We did a fair bit in our living room, but barely anything in our bedroom (where our 2 year old slept until very recently); there are plenty of things in the bedroom that she shouldn't have *and* she was in a toddler bed BUT if she got up from a nap or during the night she made a beeline for us and had no interest whatsoever in the master bath, the nest of wires next to the bed, etc.

Plenty of kids would have gone to town with the nearest tissue box, though. You'll figure it out soon!

[Ally]

We've had outlet covers for years and years. Our friends and family began having babies 6 years ago and as soon as the oldest ones were crawling we put in outlet covers. It just made life easier and gave everyone one less thing to worry about. So I personally think refusing to even do outlet covers is asinine.

We're definitely middle of the road, me more so than my husband, believe it or not. With two large dogs there are some things we need to be even more vigilant about, like having a gate in the kitchen doorway and not leaving the kid and the dogs alone (much, hardly ever, just long enough to pee).

Actually, now that I think of it, gates, outlet covers, and cabinet locks took us all the way until 22 months, when Jamie was just barely able to reach doorknobs. So now we have doorknob covers on key doors (basement, garage, etc.)

[Ally]

Just wanted to second Kate's comment:

We did a fair bit in our living room, but barely anything in our bedroom (where our 2 year old slept until very recently); there are plenty of things in the bedroom that she shouldn't have *and* she was in a toddler bed BUT if she got up from a nap or during the night she made a beeline for us and had no interest whatsoever in the master bath, the nest of wires next to the bed, etc.

I'm amazed at how little we've done in our room and Jamie's had little to no interest in all the wires, etc. And, we did anchor the larger pieces of furniture to the walls because he was pulling up on them and showing signs of being a climber. We probably ended up not needing them, but tiny cost, huge peace of mind, doesn't bother me in the least.

[SheilaC]

I would like to second the recommendation for anchoring dressers, bookcases and other upright furniture to the wall behind. Children have been killed by trying to climb up furniture and having it topple. Large televisions can be a similar hazard, if they can be pulled off the TV stand or shelf. Anchor them, or put them on the floor for a while.

It can be helpful to make one safe playroom in your home, with gated access, so you can put the child(ren) in that safer place if you need to leave the room for a few minutes, or cook dinner without small people underfoot.

In other rooms, they can be supervised and can learn the rules about what to touch or climb on, and what is not allowed or not fun.

I agree that stairs, if there are more than 4 or 5, should be gated at the bottom as well as top. And it's a good idea to put a soft area rug or foam mat at the bottom to help cushion a fall.

If you visit MIL's house and watch the baby together, you can both see what needs to be put out of reach, gated or plugged for safety. Nobody can watch the baby perfectly - there will always be phonecalls or bathroom breaks or other distractions. You could lend MIL a pack-n-play for a safe zone for baby, but the baby doesn't want to spend all day in there! And you could offer to buy some cabinet locks and outlet plugs for the places they are most needed.

We had triplets, so we did a lot of babyproofing! It was well worth it for the peace of mind, and not saying "NO!" all day.

[joline]

I also think children learn to heed the word "no" more if they arent hearing every five seconds. I think settnig them up for a constant battle to teach them just teaches them to ignore the word and kinda makes life a little less friendly.
My momwas a non childproofer. I did not childproof for my oldest because I lived with her, but she didnt need it.
However in my home I have a galley kitchen so to make things easy I just gated off both ends. We do outlet covers too and attatched bookshelves to the wallsand put doorknob covers on the bathroom doors.
As far as babyproofing at MIL's house. Well it really depends on how much time your dc's will spend there. I mean if MIL watches the kids for 2 or 3 hours it is less likely that she will be doing anything else at the same time than if they were there for overnights or spend long spans there. I just gave my MIL some extra outlet covers, and drawer locks that I didnt need and my FIL at least put cabinet locks on the cabinet under the kitchen sink and the drawer where the sharp knives are kept. I don't know if a pressure gate can be used at the bottom of stairs, but if one can it would not be too difficult to just bring one for use only when you are there so they dont have to drill holes in the walls.

[Charisse]

I also think it depends on the age at which your kid gets mobile...we are moderate by temperament anyway and the Mouse crawled at 12 months, walked at 16. She understood (and could say) "no" before she could crawl...and she also just had a modicum more sense than a 9-month-old about how physics worked. So all we had to do was outlets, stairs, hearth, and move the poisonous stuff up. If a kid is fixing to crawl at 7-8 months, though, expect zero clue and maybe pad a few more things.

(In hindsight this was a great configuration of kid to have from a convenience standpoint, but damn were we freaked when all her friends were starting to walk and she hadn't crawled yet!)

[Heather]

True story:

My friends had just finished installing their last plug-outlet-plastic thing when their 13-month-old came up to them with one in hand she'd just pulled out of the wall behind them. She handed it to her dad as if it was a game.

I'm all for stair gates and don't mind anchoring topheavy items for climber children. I also think we're encouraged to go consumerist wacko on the babyproofing and would encourage parents to let their kids make minor safety mistakes on their own under supervision. It's important for them to understand, say, gravity. I would say let the MIL's babyproof to their own level of comfort (except for stair gates, I really believe in encouraging those!) but remind them they'll be dealing with the economic consequences of leaving their Ming vases on the lowest shelves.

[rachel]

another vote for moderation here too. Or living in odd houses where the outlets are few and far between, and high up on the walls! :)

I would also invite a few toddlers over, if at all possible. That would give you a few ideas of what kids go for. Yes - your child may do completely different things, but at least you can get an idea.

We also (per someone's suggestion) went around on *our* hands and knees to see what we could get into, and change those things - often without spending a lot. the magazines on the coffee table went away, and hair elastics closed the doors to the entertainment center. Tupperware & kids dishes in the lower kitchen drawers/cupboards. kid books on the lower bookshelves. things like that. And no picture frames/breakables within easy reach.

You can't watch every kid 100% of the time, so if you at least reduce the possibility of major damage (to themselves or your stuff), it's good.

[Melis]

When Little Man was born, my mother gave me the whole "I didn't babyproof *ANYTHING* when you kids were small and you turned out okay" crap while I was installing locks on our cabinets and drawers. While I see what she was saying-she was a SAHM who often contained my brother and I in a playpen while she cooked/cleaned/whatever, I live in a small apartment and chose not to confine my son any more than I had to. We most definitely do NOT have an immaculate home and there are lots of things we don't want him messing with, yet even with the under-the-desk clutter and an open chefs rack in our kitchen, the need to put every single thing up out of reach just hasn't been there. He likes to pull the boxes of macaroni and cheese off the shelves but has yet to try to scale them. We did anchor the bookcases to the wall and put corner bumpers on things, only to have him peel them off and try to eat them. You live and learn.

Btw, every single outlet we have has the dummy plugs filling the empty outlets. He hasn't even been tempted to touch the plates.

[Beth]

This is perfect timing - this is right where we are right now. My son LOVES to pull on cords. Lamp cords, the vacuum cord while I'm using it, anything plugged in is enthralling to him.

I'm another one for moderation. I cannot imagine lining my furniture with foam piping. But I am going to get rid of my glass-topped coffee table.

[parodie]

I will concur that babyproofing is very much a question of the baby's personality/interests. With that will vary the point at which something is "overkill" - along with the layout of the house! I generally laugh at the thought of foam around a coffeetable, but having personally seen a kid be taken to the hospital for stitches due to crawling into a (large, marble?) fireplace mantle ... sometimes it's not a bad plan. Though the kid was fine, eventually, and did learn to not crawl into the fireplace...

[Bobbi]

I learned from my 12 month old nephew that our glass-topped coffee table is a weapon to children and we opted to get rid of it for our son. I work for a company that manufactures cases so I had a large wooden box made and foamed on the outside. I then upholstered it in a lovely toille fabric. It has been the best thing ever- no bleeding lips or head bumps, stores all of my son's toys, it provides extra seating and it looks great in our living room! It may sound crazy, but I can't tell you how many times I have been grateful for it. Other than that, we only put in outlet covers and a gate at the top of the stairs.

[Mother]

I love the baby boomer grandparents who are like "you just tell them no and then they won't do it."

Okay. Nice. That's my MIL and it drives me crazy.

We're very moderate babyproofers - however, I've found as my daughter has gotten older (now 2) she's gotten worse - and since she's already had a couple of broken bones, I'm most concerned about stairs (lucky me, I'll be living with my inlaws and their two big huge staircases).

I'll be getting gates and just making sure huge glass objects are out of reach, however, I think the outlet covers are a must. And I just am careful what I leave out - which is a new thing now since she can stand and climb and reach - razors, scissors, that kind of stuff.

[Rosemary]

I'm normally pretty laid back about raising my little one, but when it comes to babyproofing, I'm not. I come down on the side of more is better (most of the time).

My 7 month old has been crawling now for nearly 6 weeks and having a small baby being so mobile left me with little choice. He has no sense! (Duh! He's a baby, but I'm still amazed what he will do!) We've had to block off glass doors as he will crawl straight into them. Power points (outlets) are a must, as is anchoring the bookshelves. He is now climbing everything, so we've had to remove blinds (he tries to climb them over and over and over). I have seen the result of a child pulling a bookshelf and it was ugly. We've anchored the TV and got into the habit of religiouly shutting and checking doors.

However, babyproofing doesn't have to cost a packet. We did spend good money on a good quality gate for the top of the stairs but only put a pressure gate at the bottom. The few brackets and screws and outlet covers haven't cost much. It's much more important to do stuff like pick coins, staples and pins off the floor, tie up your curtain cords and to lock up the poisons. I've tried to leave some cabinets for him to get into and rather than be forever saying no, we put the stereo, wine rack and the TV into the play pen. That we he is free to roam the room. If I'm ironing, I put myself into the playpen, otherwise he'll try to climb the board!

[erin]

We live in an old house with, like, five outlets total. We have to use power strips. I bought the outlet covers Moxie mentions, only to find out they don't work with thick cords. The best baby proofing we've done thus far involves a plastic "Safety 1st" tube for the power strip (http://www.babyant.com/bh041037.html) combined with an "Adapter and Outlet Cover" also by Safety First (http://perfectlysafe.stores.yahoo.net/72385.html)

Now if only I could bring myself to get those cord covers that hold cords to the wall. Our just-turned-eight-months-old daughter LOVES cords. The vacuum cord and hose, the lamp and other assorted power cords. Many of them contain lead, not to mention pose a strangulation hazard. Yuck!

[Brooke]

I wish they made those outlet covers where you can still plug things in for GFCI outlets. The two convientant and tempting outlets we have are like that. It's a pain in the ass since I hate those little opaque outlet plugs. They are so hard to get out (obviously) so it makes those outlets either open are impossible to use.

[jen3 @ amazing triplets]

In my opinion ... with 3-22 month olds in the house - - there is NO such thing as complete babyproofing. The best you can do is keep small items (and loose change) off the floor. Latch your cabinets, close the doors you don't want them getting in to (i.e. bathroom), put on outlet covers, put stuff up high that you don't want them to reach. One other thing I did was get rid of our coffee table. I've heard that more children lose teeth and suffer terrible injury falling into/against coffee tables than any other object. Got a water dispenser on your fridge?? Make sure it LOCKS.

Bid your floor plants farewell - unless you can move them in to one of the rooms behind a closing door.

Baby gates are good. But I'm in shock (horror?) at just what our kids can get in to these days. Just when I thought I had the house totally "babyproofed" they showed me how they could move chairs across the kitchen and scale the counter to reach our KNIVES in less than 3 seconds flat (while another one was on top of our TV and the third opened the sliding door to our backyard.)

Bedtime cannot come soon enough, these days. Next purchase for me ... CRIB TENTS.

[Amy]

I hate to be a horrible, horrible debbie downer but I'm a pretty fanatic babyproofing advocate because I know 3 children who were killed or severly injured within a year of each other in household accidents. When I was 12 my best friend's 2 year old sister died in a backyard pool - lock on sliding glass door was broken - and less than a year later a child I babysat for (not while I was there thank god) was permenantly brain damaged when a television toppled over on him as he tried to climb up and reach for the remote on top of it. The same year a child in the daycare at the summer camp I attended died after swollowing a push pin (at daycare no less where those types of accidents are far less common than in homes). So needless to say I am beyond paranoid about this stuff. Especially about the toppling and choking hazards because I think those are the type of things that people don't always think of. Everyone knows to be careful about stairs and pools (doesn't mean they always are but they know about them) but the toppling furniture and appliances are often overlooked. I don't even have kids yet but when my friends come over with their children it is a huge production getting the place ready. I have most things anchored due to earthquake risk anyway but I keep a little playard I got cheap at a garage sale so when the kids come over I can give them a part of the room and know is safe. You know how it gets when you get talking with friends. It is easy to turn away just long enough for something to happen. I would be probably be more lenient things like sharp corners and slippery floors that are far more likely to result in a bump, bruise or scrape so you can focus on the more serious things. Sorry again. I hope that comment wasn't too upsetting.

[jaelithe]

I dated a guy once who had gotten severely burned as a small child sticking his finger in an outlet while there were three responsible adult relatives in the same room.

Accidents happen, even when responsible adults are around paying attention. The reason these childproofing aids were invented is that vigilance and good parenting aren't always enough to keep kids from getting hurt. Just because a mother from the previous generation might have managed to raise three or four kids in a completely unchildproofed home without any of them happening to die doesn't mean that mothers today shouldn't take advantage of simple, inexpensive gadgets that can help keep their children safer.

When I was a small child, my parents often had to keep me in a playpen to keep me safe. I childproofed whole rooms in my home so my son would have more room to explore. I don't see how this is not an improvment.

[Lisa]

On attatching cords to the wall:

We live in an older flat with one outlet per room (and two home offices - oy...) and ornate white-painted baseboards.

We replaced our many power strips with some from Radio Shack that have built in outlet covers (little sliders on each outlet), put those power strips that we could behind/on top of furniture, then taped any exposed extension/power strip cords to the molding with white "Duck Tape" (that's the brand - got it at the hardware store). Exposed outlets got covered with the boxy things Moxie describes.

Not gorgeous, but not too bad either.

[Lisa]

and one more complaint about the grandparents: my parents last decorated in the mid-80s. Multi-level glass coffee tables, hard and sharp everything, etc. etc. They never actually installed all the stuff my brother (the first of us to have a kid) got them - god forbid the, um, aesthetics get compromised. (OK, that was unfair, but hey...). Last month my husband and my brother took things in hand - didn't ask, just installed outlet plugs, corner guards, and such. We'll be bringing the pressure gate and Pak & Play along - our son is 7 mos. and already trying to climb.

[ChildrenFurnitureFour]

Hello,


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[Stephanie]

Help!

We put up gates but I found my daughter dangling off the little 2 inch edge of the stairs that sticks out on the outside. For now we put a chair at the bottom of the stairs to block it with a giant exercise ball in it, but it is horribly tacky. Any ideas or products?

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I wish they made those outlet covers where you can still plug things in for GFCI outlets. The two convientant and tempting outlets we have are like that. It's a pain in the ass since I hate those little opaque outlet plugs. They are so hard to get out (obviously) so it makes those outlets either open are impossible to use.

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Speaking of shelves, if you have a climber, you should make sure all your shelves are anchored to the wall so your child won't pull one on top of him/herself while trying to climb one. Having said that, only our heaviest shelf is anchored, because neither of our boys has tried to climb shelves. Again, you need to watch and learn from your own kid.

[Paul]

I wish her, the twins, and that family all the best. However, I too am ccrnenoed with her implication that formula is as good for babies as breastmilk. To each his/her own, but she is an influential celebrity and her statement was incorrect and irresponsible. Any of you out there who agree are either misinformed or delusional. The American Medical Association recognizes breast milk as the best foor for babies. Even the manufacturers of formula have disclaimers stating that breast milk is best. It is a lot of work to breast feed. Especially twins, but parenting is a lot of work and it truly is important to make sacrifices sometimes for the benefit of our childern. Breastfed babies have been proven to have healthier lives as adults and that DOES affect our society and all of us. I wish she would have kept this selfish choice private. She can afford wetnurses that would have been a much more responsible alternative. It seems that formula fed people are very defensive about the way their mothers fed them and thus repeat the crime. Do a little research on Nestle in the 1970 s and what their formula did to children in 3rd world countries. Breast is best and I truly hope that young mothers who idolize her will not allow her ignorance to influence their parenting.

[Nurfitri]

that she needed to get back into shape and had no desrie to nurse- would it have been that big of an uproar? Doubt it. She chooses to bottle/formula feed her children. That fits her life. She can fees, Marc, grandma, auntie whomever, nanny 1 or 2 WHY is it an issue? The babies are eating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Had she made some lunatic statement like she was only feeding the children almond milk and organic applejuice then I could see WHY that would be commentable This is not. If she wants to wear a versace gown for the 9pm feeding more power to her she can afford the dry cleaning fees.I chose to nurse my twins and supplement as needed with formula. WHY did I supplement?? Sometimes it was a supply issue, sometimes it was inconvininet to nurse- much easier to mix a bottle and have someone help me feed. My kids are fine.. obnoxious little cuddly monsters but no worse for the wear!

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