Jessica, who had her beautiful son, is back with another question:
"I would really appreciate a primer on discreet public breastfeeding. By this I mean the best bras and outer clothing to wear, what to do with your Lilypadz, best way to cover yourself, best way to get everything snapped back up and into place nicely, best way to prevent your grabby child from accidently exposing you, best way to deal with your toddler that wants to "help" you with this process, etc. In particular I feel like I am very awkward about getting the baby to latch on without completely exposing myself first. In addition, I have trouble with the finishing up procress of getting everything all snapped back up and my Lilypadz back into place. Finally, I frequently make the baby upset because I have covered up his head too much. (Usually I throw a receiving blanket over my shoulder covering both him and my boob.) This not only makes him cry, but it also results in me having get him latched back on without showing everyone around us my entire boob!
Since I breastfed my daughter for about a year, you would think I wouldn't be having such trouble with my second one. But M was great about accepting a bottle too, so I almost never nursed in public. Now I have a child who is both constantly hungry and also completely opposed to a bottle, especially one offered by me. Also, my lifestyle and work situation are completely different now, so I have many more opportunities to be out and about with both children during prime feeding times. I am not shy or embarrased about the need to feed my child, but I am a modest and conservative person by nature and I feel like there has to be a smoother way of doing this that would make both the baby and I, as well as anyone who happens to have us in their sight lines, more comfortable.
Thank you! Any advice/instructions you could offer would be so helpful!"
Congratulations on your son!
I know people think using a blanket to cover up will make nursing more discreet, but I think it often backfires. There must be some kids who allow their heads to be covered up while they nurse, but I haven't encountered many of them. Which means that it takes longer to latch them on and get them settled down after fighting over the blanket placement. Even if you luck out with a child who will permit one over his or her head while nursing, you're still advertising to the world "There's something interesting going on here! Look this way!" with a blanket. Since it doesn't seem like your son likes it over his head, you might as well just give up on the blanket.
For truly discreet nursing, you're probably going to be better off with some good nursing shirts. There are plenty of companies that sell nursing shirts (and dresses). My favorite is Expressiva.com, but tons of women love Motherwear.com and OneHotMama.com. Another option is to buy nursing tanks (either from Glamourmom.com, Motherwear.com, or Target) and wear them underneath another shirt to turn it into a nursing shirt. If you have a sewing machine, you could take a plain white T-shirt and use the buttonhole attachment to sew long buttonholes for nursing openings, then use a seam ripper to open up the slits, and wear this shirt under another shirt or sweater to cover your stomach while you nurse. (If anyone markets my buttonhole-opening undershirts, you'd better give me a royalty.)
Once you have a few nursing shirts (or have juryrigged your regular shirts into nursing shirts with nursing tanks or DIY nursing undershirts) you need to have easy-to-open and -close bras. If you're wearing a nursing tank, your problem is already solved. (I find that the tanks I have give adequate, but not stellar, support for my DDs. I think they'd be great for a C cup and under, and not so hot for anything above a DD.) If you need a bra, look for a model with plastic closure hardware that clicks. Hook and eye closures are extremely hard to do with one hand or with any hope of being discreet. Stretchy straps or cups are also going to make it harder for you to close the bra one-handed. I find stretchy cups more comfortable to wear, so I have bras for in the house (the comfy stretchy ones) and bras for wearing outside (they may not be quite as comfortable, but they're easy to open and close with one hand).
My opening technique is this: I hold the baby in the general direction of my breast to kind of shield my breast from view with the baby's head. I use the hand not holding the baby to quickly worm up through the nursing opening, unhook the strap, pull down the cup, and then latch the baby on. Once the baby's safely on, I adjust the fabric of the nursing shirt so that it covers my breast but not the baby's face or head. When (never if, unfortunately) the baby tries to yank up the shirt, I gently but firmly pull it back down and hold it where I want it. If I were smart I'd probably have some little toy to put into the baby's hand to distract him.
My closing technique is similar: When the baby comes off, I quickly yank down the nursing shirt so it covers my breast. Then I go down the neck of my shirt with one hand and pull up the cup of the bra and rehook it. I find it easier almost all the time to refasten from the top than from the bottom. Then I do a little shimmy so that everything falls back into place the way it's supposed to.
The Lilypadz are a sticky wicket. I love how well they work and how they don't show under clothes (and how all I have to do is rinse them off once a day), but they're tough to deal with when you're nursing in public. Where do you put them? (I'll tell you where you don't put them--on the park bench next to you in Central Park in the autumn. Because then when you accidentally knock them onto the ground they get dried leaf bits all stuck to them.) I try to remember to put the one that's not on me on my same knee (curving over the cap of the knee so it doesn't fall off) or tucked into my other bra cup until I'm ready to put it back on.
The reapplying it can be tricky, too. You can either put your finger in the middle of the Lilypad and push it onto your nipple, then flip the rest of the pad on the breast, and then pull up your bra. Or you can refasten your bra, then reach down from the top and put the Lilypad on from the inside while the bra's already closed again.
The only idea I have to help your daughter help you nurse is to have her bring along her doll and nurse while you do. My older son liked to nurse his doll while I was nursing his younger brother in the early days, and I've seen lots of older siblings do the same thing. I'm sure the readers will have other good ideas for you to keep your daughter occupied (aside from the normal things like reading her books while you're nursing or having a special toy she only gets to play with while you're nursing the baby).
I'm a real proponent of nursing in public (I think the more people see women nursing their babies out in public the more normal it will become and the less stressful it will be for women who need to feed their babies while they're outside) but I try to do it as discreetly as possible. IME, you get better with practice (even if you're wearing a bra that's hard to close), and it gets a lot easier once your baby is old enough to latch on quickly. So keep practicing, and in a month or two you'll feel like it's no big deal.
Anyone have any other tips for Jessica about nursing discreetly in public?
Ok, I am normally a really modest person re: clothing and skin showing and whatever, but when it comes to nursing my second, I kind of don't pay attention. There are places where I take pains to be extra-careful--like in synagogue, where I nurse in a ring sling and wear a BOOB nursing shirt that exposes almost nothing--but at the park, when I have 15 seconds to latch him on before my toddler is off and running, I can't really think about it. FWIW I use Avent pads, but just squish them down into the bra flap that's open. I often nurse in a ring sling cradle hold, so it looks like he's sleeping, and the sling covers almost everything.
(To be sure, with #1, it took me forever and I always flushed and felt like I was the center of attention! It got easier, then she moved into the distraction phase and it got tricky again.)
Are you afraid of being verbally attacked for NIP? If yes, it definitely pays to research the bfing laws in your state. I live in NY and am frequently in NJ, so I looked up those laws on the internet and now I have a snappy comeback if I were ever to receive comments.
Or maybe your daughter is willing to be sort of a human shield for you? Ask her to stand in front of you while you're talking and then you can do your thing with the baby while she's there?
Just a warning about the Glamourmom tanks...they are NOT one-handed close (at least for me). I wear mine mostly around the house for this reason--every other bra I have is better for NIP!
Posted by: Kate | June 28, 2006 at 09:04 AM
(Still nursing Mom.) To NIP I just pull my shirt up or down, unhook my bra cup and go for it. I use a blanket to cover either my stomach or chest (whichever is exposed by moving my shirt). When I'm in church, though, I try to wear a button down with a cami underneath. I just unbutton the top of my shirt and pull up the cami. I still use the blanket, but I wrap it very loosely around my daughter, with it bunched up at the top, so I can hold onto the edge and use it as needed as a barrier bewteen myself and the world; I never leave it over her head.
I use Johnson & Johnson nursing pads and just tuck them down with the cup when I unhook my bra.
Posted by: Reese | June 28, 2006 at 09:20 AM
Ditto on the plastic clicky closure bras. Also, I'll reiterate that this all gets easier with practice. And I'm with Kate--this is my second child too, and I used to be much more modest, but now I feel like if someone sees my boob for a second or two, well, then they saw it. Shouldn'ta been lookin'! ;) I have received an odd look or two but never had a comment. If I did I'd probably get sarcastic and say something like: oh, my gosh, you're right! I shouldn't be feeding my child in PUBLIC! Whatever was I thinking? Thank you for setting me straight. How may I repay you?
bec :D
Posted by: bec 36 | June 28, 2006 at 09:41 AM
I have a few:
1. Practice at home in front of a mirror or with a nursing friend with whom you can share your boobs. Alternately, you can try nursing at a moms' group or LLL meeting.
2. Nurse in a sling or wrap. That'll keep extra fabric in the way of others' view. When the baby pops off, they'll stay right in front of your nipple or the sling will, and that gives you time to put yourself back together before moving on.
3. Remember that what you can see looking down is not what other people can see looking at you from the front or side.
4. My babe occasionally pops off when the milk is still a-flowin', so putting my shirt back together immediately is not always an option. I press my burp rag (that is, a washcloth) into my nipple and pull my shirt down to hold it there. If necessary, I apply extra pressure, as I once leaked milk into my shoes in public. Doing this allows me to get the baby situated and put my shirt back together without her fussing and wiggling.
Posted by: Emilin | June 28, 2006 at 09:47 AM
Kate the Glamourmom tanks aren't one-hand closers? Good to know. I'm, um, thifty enough not to have tried them. The Target tanks are too small (you have to buy 2 full sizes up) but you can close them with one hand (although you have to wiggle everything back into place afterward).
Anyone know about the ones Motherwear sells?
Emilin, I sprayed milk all over the floor of a NJ Transit train once. But into your shoe? That's funny.
Posted by: Moxie | June 28, 2006 at 09:53 AM
Kate, can you tell us your snappy comeback, please? Then we can modify it for our own state. :-) I am not so good at coming up with snappy comebacks, myself, so I would love it if I could steal yours.
Moxie, I got one of the Glamourmom tops and it SEEMS to be one-hand close, but note I have not tried it with an actual baby yet.
(I should be starting this whole bfing thing myself in about 6 weeks--ay!) I did feel like the closer was a bit on the loose side, to the point where when I wore it (yes, I know I don't need it yet, I was low on clean clothes), I asked my husband to let me know if I was accidentally flashing people.
Posted by: Jen '96 | June 28, 2006 at 10:12 AM
The close on the Target tanks is much easier, IMO. The Glamourmom ones are much nicer material, though.
I was disappointed--I had treated myself to the Glamourmom (just one) because I knew I was going to have to do a lot more on-the-fly NIP this time...and I wear it only in the privacy of my own house or LLL meetings. Oh well.
Of course, given the weather I may never have to NIP again :-)
Posted by: Kate | June 28, 2006 at 10:12 AM
The Motherwear tops are easy enough to close with one hand, but I find they don't give enough support to my D breasts. I've generally found that Motherwear clothes make discreet nursing more difficult, since the different layers of t-shirts don't separate smoothly, so finding the boob is always a bit of an adventure. I think loose-fitting shirts work best-but then again I don't worry about being discreet anymore.
Posted by: Sally | June 28, 2006 at 10:17 AM
In the beginning it was definitely awkward for me. I had the pornstar boobs and it was harder to hide them. I used a lot of nursing tshirts, and often had a blanket over the baby. That doesn't last very long, though.
She's 15 months old now and nursing her in public doesn't happen often because the world is too distracting. However, as she got older, I became more comfortable. I still carried a blanket with me, but instead of putting it over her head, I put it around her. It covered any tummy glimpses, I could tuck a corner of it between her head and the inside of my elbow (which also helped her head not to sweat as much) and therefore block the view a little bit. It made it look more like I was just cradling a baby in a blanket versus HEY LOOK AT ME!
Practice was the best, but trying it in front of a mirror showed me that I wasn't showing as much as I thought.
Finally, regarding getting everything back. I have used Bravado nursing bras which are easy to fasten one handed. After unlatching baby, I pull the cup of the bra up, the shirt down and then get baby situated. (in sling, stroller, whatever) Then I can reach into the top of my shirt to grab the tab on the bra and snap it into place. When I wore nursing pads, I often left them in the cup, and put them into place at the same time I snapped the bra. (The blanket comes in handy during this move too)
When I wore Soothies it was usually at home, but if we were out and about I'd stick the loose Soothie to the side of my other breast.
Posted by: Mandy | June 28, 2006 at 10:35 AM
I'm a B/C, so my system my not be helpful if you're larger. I use a stretchy bra-lette, with the second kid I've actually bought kids' size XXL at the Gap Outlet. Over that I wear a stretchy tank from Target. Not a nursing tank, no bra built in. Over that I wear a t-shirt. And I wear cloth pads (lace on the outside, flannel on the inside and they're sort of cup-shaped, I got them with kid #1 and cannot remember where, sorry).
To nurse, I reach under the t-shirt, pull down the bra-lette and tank, with the tee still covering my breast, then I position the baby and pull the tee up. The tee covers the top of my breast, and the tank covers my stomach. When the baby is done, I pull the tank down and then either reach in from the neck, or up from the bottom to adjust everything.
I love my system except that since the bralette isn't padded, the outline of the pad can be seen through the t-shirt. I do have some Lilypadz, which I like, but also find difficult to re-apply, so I usually save those for when I'm going out sans kid. They don't show as much. I even wore them successfully last weekend with only a haltertop.
I recently bought some padded bras from the Gap that don't have underwire, but they do have some wire at the sides. They give me better support and a better look, but they aren't ideal for nursing, so I've been wearing them to work.
One more thing, I've always been able to use the bra-lettes while pumping to hold the cones in place so that I can pump hands-free.
Posted by: Mary | June 28, 2006 at 10:41 AM
I'm a hardcore Glamourmom devotee over here! I tried the Fancee Free brand tank and the breast openings gave me uniboob. The Glamourmoms may have been difficult to clasp one-handed in the beginning, but to tell you the truth I've been doing it one-handed for so long that I don't even remember any more. So I'm going to say it's learnable. I would have to say that of all the gadgets available, it's probably done the most to support me nursing twins for 15 mos and counting. Well, that and deciding that babie shave to be nursed and I'm just going to decide (to try) not to care.
(Although if you'd asked me when I was nursing one giant baby after another in the middle of the packed waiting area for Outback Steakhouse, I'd have admitted to feeling pretty conspicuous. ;o)
Posted by: Meira | June 28, 2006 at 10:46 AM
I've never had to use a snappy comeback (and to tell the truth I'd probably wilt under pressure), but in NY the breastfeeding law is actually within the rubric of civil rights legislation. Definitely not necessary to slink away to nurse in a bathroom (yuck--unless it's at Nordstrom's).
Summary of Breastfeeding Laws by state:
http://www.ncsl.org/programs/health/breast50.htm
Posted by: Kate | June 28, 2006 at 11:21 AM
I used nursing tanks from Motherhood - bigger than the target tanks and they come in great colors. I used Lansinoh nursing pads so I just left it in the tank. I tucked the flap of the tank in so the pad stayed put.
The tank covered my tummy, and for the top of my breast, I folded a burp rag and laid it over my chest. The baby covered the nipple and viola - nothing showing.
Getting him latched on was an ordeal for a few months, but we had latching problems in general. I went for layers usually, a button down shirt over a tank (it was winter though), and went in from the top so I could see what I was doing. Eventually he could latch himself on and nursing in public became a non-issue, but the first few months were challenging. Good luck!
Posted by: Ally | June 28, 2006 at 12:01 PM
Shirts: I really like my Belly Hugger - http://www.thebellyhugger.com/ - to cover up my stomach while I use any shirt to NIP. (I only really prefer to use a nursing shirt when I'm nursing in the sling because then the holes are at the right level & I don't have to pull my shirt up with sling and baby holding it down.)
Breast pads: I rarely use pads anymore, but when I needed them I'd stick the Lily Padz on my chest over my breast while nursing on that side. I just didn't want to get germs all over it by taking it away from that general area.
Nursing bras: I hate them all. HATE. Actually, I mostly just hate the whole fussing-with-latches aspect. So, although I did invest in five of them in honor of my newest kidlet, I still just pull-down-and-pop-out. It's quicker and lazier that way. When my older kidlet reached a certain age, I just banished all nursing bras from my life and when in search of normal bras that were easy to pull aside while providing decent support.
Posted by: Deirdre | June 28, 2006 at 01:10 PM
I NIP all the time, and at work, and what has worked for me is jog-bras. And, not nice ones, but the ones I get from K-mart for $4.99. Yes, it gives me uniboob, but it has also supported my DDs.
I never tried any of the nursing bra tanks, because not only are my boobs big, the rest of me is, too. The selection of things for a plus-sized mama is, ironically, slim.
My son is 6 months now, and we've gotten it pretty well figured out. I pull my shirt up, pull the bra up, smoosh his face in place. I pull the shirt down around his face, but not covering it, and I wrap a blanket behind him to cover up my stomach. When he pulls off to look around (without letting go, I might add. OUCH!), the shirt falls down to cover up my NIPple.
I was NIPing from the start, and at first I would always cover him with a blanket. Even at home during the day I would, so he would be used to that. Eventually, we got good enough to not need the blanket, except to cover up my stomach. I also like wearing a big shirt over my shirt that I'm pulling up, to keep the exposed back-fat down to a minimum.
Posted by: Julia | June 28, 2006 at 01:15 PM
On shirts - I like the kind where the shirt fabric opens top to bottom (sort of like a half shirt over the real shirt) as opposed to the kind where you move the fabric to the side. With the top kind, it's really easy to cover your boob once the kid is latched. With the sideways ones (and my gigantimous boobs) it's impossible to cover *ALL* of the boob in my experience.
I agree with Moxie about the need for more people to NIP and ditch the blankets, but if you're not comfortable with that, there is also a product called the Hooter Hider (Google it). I kid you not, and I think it looks ridiculous, but I know a couple of women who would not NIP without it, and if it keeps them nursing their kids, who am I to stop them?
Posted by: Jen (yup, another one) | June 28, 2006 at 01:48 PM
I'm a B cup and a B/C while nursing, so if you have big boobs ignore the rest of my post. But my system was much like Mary's -- I bought a bunch of stretchy cotton tanks with built-in shelf bras (which I got at Costco for cheap). My nursing uniform was one of the tanks with a t-shirt over it. To nurse, I'd pull up the t-shirt, bring the baby in, and then reach up and pull top of tank down and under my boob. If I had a nursing pad (which I really didn't need to use after about the first 8 weeks, but when I did I used the Gerber disposable ones), I just pulled it out first and stuffed in my pocket or just left in tank and shoved under the boob.
I loved this system as my post-partum tummy was always kept covered and I didnt' have to deal with any nursing bra flaps or snaps. I bought a Glamourmom tank, but honestly I didn't like it nearly as much as my basic tanks from Costco!
Posted by: Amy | June 28, 2006 at 02:41 PM
Wow. I'm always amazed how uncomfortable Americans are around naked breasts. The only times I felt really uncomfortable nursing in public was in restaurants, when my son was a little older and started to stop drinking to grin at people.
After the first few weeks I used nursing bras only during the night, and I have never even tried a nursing top. I used regular bras (with pads), and wore a regular t-shirt with a cardigan or sweat-jacket. Then you push down your bra strap and use the cup to tuck the pad somewhere on the side. The t-shirt goes up and the cardigan covers most of your belly. The child covers your breast. When you unlatch the baby, you can pull the tee down, put cup and pad in place and afterwards pull up bra strap.
Just make sure to have an extra nursing pad in the diaper bag, because sometimes it falls out...
Posted by: Susanne | June 28, 2006 at 03:41 PM
Muffin Man hated to nurse so I've got no advice on NIP, but everytime I see someone doing it I smile at them and say, "Good for you!" (or give them a thumb's up)
I can't believe how little support moms get for doing the healthiest thing for their kids.
Posted by: liz | June 28, 2006 at 03:51 PM
this was really tough for me ,too, and I just seem to get more self-conscious as she gets older (almost 8 months).
But, I just suck it up because when she's hungry, it's the most important thing. I'm sure people have had glimpses of boob here and there, and if she isn't REALLY hungry, she'll pop off and check out the scenery.
I hate that it makes me uncomfortable, and I try to ignore my discomfort. The blanket never worked for us. Nursing shirts are fine, but I'm not going to buy (another) whole new wardrobe, so I only have three. I use them on airplanes or when we're spending a whole day out.
I say just nurse him the best you can when he's hungry and try not to stress. You're feeding your baby! I've seen so much asscrack in my life from people wearing their pants too tight or too low I can't even tell you.
I figure it's my turn to flash the universe.
Posted by: Lyss | June 28, 2006 at 06:05 PM
I am a Hooter Hider fan! Actually they're called Bebe Au Lait now--I guess having a big tag on it that said Hooter Hider defeated the purpose. I found it much easier to wear normal clothes and a regular nursing bra and just whip out the HH if I was worried about exposing myself. I used it in a very crowded airport when I was elbow to elbow with random people and felt very comfortable, which I wouldn't have been otherwise. I know I SHOULD feel perfectly comfortable NIP without covering up but I just never did, so the HH was a godsend for me.
Posted by: Melissa | June 28, 2006 at 07:08 PM
Thank you so much for all of the great suggestions! I guess I should have mentioned in my question to Moxie that I have ginourmous boobs (DD normally, about an F right now), which seems to complicate things a bit. I have a glamourmom (bargain from ebay Moxie) and also a target tank, but I don't really think they provide enough support for being out in the world. I feel the same way about my bravados, so those are my in the house/sleeping options. For being out and about in the world I have some underwire nursing bras from Mimi Maternity that are serving me well. I have had a hard time with the nursing shirts, but that may be because I have side opening ones, and as Jen mentioned they don't always provide full coverage for big boobs! The belly hugger sounds like it might be a great option, as does practicing at home in front of a mirror. I don't know why I didn't think of that myself!
Just to clarify, I am a big proponent of public nursing and I agree that people should do it more to increase pubic acceptance. Also, I have never heard a negative comment about it personally, but I have had a number of women that I don't know come up to me and make supportive comments, which I really appreciate. I just personally am pretty modest, and I don't like the feeling of being exposed in public. (Although every time I do it, which is almost daily at this point, I feel more and more comfortable.) I knew all of you would have great suggestions to make the process easier on me, so thank you again!
Posted by: Jessica | June 28, 2006 at 07:46 PM
I have serously never owned a single nursing top. That said I am the strictly jeans and t-shirt type and my babies are always pretty much big enough to cover any exposed belly , but on a cold day I will use something.
The plastic closure nursing tops are the best and I could usually get them unhooked wiht one hand and lift my shirt just enough to get baby latched, his or her head covers everythign that the shirt doesnt cover. It just looks like I am cuddling my baby closely, maybe rocking him or her to sleep.
But the absolutely MOST discreet nursing is while wearing my baby in my maya wrap. Baby is already in the sling, all I had to do was pop him on (which at first I found a semi private place to do for a second)and keep going. I honestly had people be stunned to realize that I even had a baby in there at all, let alone was nursing.
In this way I completely could do whatever I needed to do while out and nurse my son at the same time. While grocery shopping, in the checkout line at Target, even while getting food at my favorite Chinese Buffet.
It is my opinion that putting a blanket over ones shoulder is far less discreet than not doing so. Like Moxie said it basically screams "everybody look over here, Im nursing my baby".
Get a mayawrap, Practice at home. You will love how discreet nursing is.
Posted by: joline | June 29, 2006 at 12:35 AM
I rarely bothered with special nursing clothes, but then I wear mostly knit tops anyway, and they cover a lot. I'd go for a sling for additional coverage if necessary.
If you decide to wear a regular shirt and just yank your shirt up, I recommend reaching in through the neck of your shirt to unhook the flap of your bra--I find this much quicker and more discreet than reaching up from underneath.
Posted by: Slim | June 29, 2006 at 09:30 AM
Just want to say a word of explanation why some of us find it more necessary to wear nursing shirts. I would LOVE to be able to skip the nursing wardrobe, but my stomach is still pretty large and is literally, LITERALLY corrugated, top to bottom and side to side, with stretch marks that are still red. I've shown it to other women who have had babies and their jaw has dropped. If you haven't seen major stretch marks before, you just don't realize what they are like. So exposing my stomach is more traumatic for me than exposing my boobs, actually. And I can't keep a blanket over it with a wiggly baby. I like the suggestion of the belly hugger, but not in the 90+ degree heat... I'll give it a try in the fall. For now I will stick to my (handmedown, mostly and thankfully!) nursing t-shirts, all 5 of them. Yes, my wardrobe is really limited and boring. Oh, well. Chalk it up to motherhood!
Posted by: Jen (yup, another one) | June 29, 2006 at 11:00 AM
Actually, it's the belly-exposure problem that led me to give up on nursing clothes, and Motherwear, I renounce thee:
I bought some nursing T-shirts that just had a sort of bib of fabric as the underlayer, which meant that my vast expanses of stretchmarky/relief map belly and sides were still exposed. Not the very front, but I have plenty, pretty much all over.
Moral: If you buy nursing tops, make sure the area south of the breasts will be covered while nursing.
Alternative moral: Screw it. My hideous stretch marks were the price of admission to motherhood, and anyone who's (understandably) grossed out can look away.
Posted by: Slim | June 29, 2006 at 12:37 PM
I'm a huge Motherwear fan -- I've probably single-handedly financed them for the past few years. Four or five years ago, when I was nursing my first, I found that a lot of their designs with the vertical openings didn't work for me -- no way to pull the fabric back to hide boobage. But now they've gone to mostly tuckable inner layers that have the openings with no-opening outer layers. The outer layer is so easy to pull down over the top of the breast, right up to baby's mouth. Nobody sees a thing.
A $75 Motherwear gift certificate is my standard new-mom gift, by the way. I still wear a lot of the clothes even though my last one is 2 and doesn't nurse during the day anymore.
I have otherwise enlightened friends who always drape a blanket over themselves and the baby when nursing, and I don't get it. With the right nursing clothes, everybody gets to see how contented your baby is, the baby doesn't tug at the blanket and force you into continuous readjust mode, and there's one less thing to cart around.
Posted by: Donna B. | June 29, 2006 at 12:53 PM
I've gone from a DDD to a J while nursing, so none of the tanks were any use to me...but what has helped some are hats.
1) I wear a broad brimmed hat (especially in synogogue). To latch the baby on in public, I throw the blanket OVER MY HAT. This leaves me and baby in a tent, so I have both hands to pull up shirt, unlatch bra, latch on baby, pull shirt down to cover the other breast. Then I pull the blanket down. Takes about 30 seconds. Admittedly, I don't have a toddler to watch at the same time...
2) My baby wears a sunhat. When she's on the breast, nobody can see the breast over her hat.
Posted by: Eliz | June 29, 2006 at 01:53 PM
Jessica, I have no nursing apparel suggestions. Except to wear something that's easily accessible and can help you uncover one breast at a time.
My suggestion, and I know it's hard to do, is to blank out anyone around you. I nursed my daughter for 20 months, at the park, on the bus, on domestic flights, international flights, airports, restaurants, walking down a street! I never looked up to see who was or was not watching me. Try, as hard as it is, to ignore other people. No one ever said a word to me , EVER, and expect for a 15 year old boy at an airport, I never noticed anyone looking at me. (And I laughed about it later on, telling my husband I had scarred a teenager with my saggy boobs). Something Moxie said is really correct. The more you use contraptions to hide it and disguise yourself in various ways, the more you attract attention, and the more self-conscious you feel. Good luck to you and your baby in your public outings. The nursing apparel recommendations everyone else have sound great to me.
Posted by: lolismum | June 29, 2006 at 03:36 PM
I never bothered buying nursing wear. My aunt gave me a BOOB shirt, but it never seemed to fit correctly. I just unsnapped the Bravado through the neck of my shirt, put my girl sideways across my belly, and hiked up the shirt until she could reach the nipple. She didn't seem to mind the bunched up shirt resting on/near her face, so there was very little exposure. My arms and her body hid my belly.
Posted by: Vanessa | June 29, 2006 at 04:55 PM
Personally, I could never get lilypadz to work if I was out - I needed both hands to make them stick. I used disposable pads when I was out.
I find normal T-shirts the easiest to nurse discreetly in - because it's easy to slip your hand up underneath to undo and do up your bra, and the T-shirt falls in a very natural way over your breast, so you have the minimum flesh showing above your baby's face.
In cooler weather cardigans are great for keeping belly and side skin hidden.
Posted by: expat | June 29, 2006 at 08:20 PM
I have some Motherwear items I love that were given to me many years ago. I used to recommend them to everyone.
But recently I've had some poor experiences with Motherwear items--especially the ones I purchased from the eBay outlet. So beware the eBay outlet (even though it's an official Motherwear-affiliated seller). In multiple transactions with them I've found they have poor quality and poor customer service, selling seconds as first-quality items, a no-return policy, and if an item is defective they will not replace it (though they may allow you to return it if you pay shipping both ways). Yes, you can get a good deal, but there are no guarantees.
Even if you order from the catalog or website their sizes are wildly irregular--an XS of one item may be significantly larger than a Medium of another--and the quality is not always that great. Some of their designs are fabulous, and others leave you wondering if they were designed by a man and never tested to see how they worked in an actual nursing situation. As another poster mentioned, their tees have a second layer only in the very front, which means your side and upper belly gets exposed. It seems like, for such expensive clothes, they cut corners a lot in the clothing construction. Any edges of garments that aren't exposed when the nursing openings are closed are simply serged rather than finished. Some of the nursing openings are nice, but others either require you to expose the ENTIRE breast to access the nursing-relevant parts, or they are impossible to open and close with one hand.
I won't buy from Motherwear again unless I can try on before I buy.
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Posted by: Breast Feeding Garments | April 27, 2011 at 12:08 AM
I will dnfleitiy I will dnfleitiy keep this on the list. I tend to have issues finding bras as well & have purchased a Bravado (regular) bra & have scrolled through their nursing options will dnfleitiy revisit their site. Now, how about buying at the end of pregnancy. If I were wanting to purchase a bra right prior to birth, how many sizes (if any) would you suggest increasing?
Posted by: Purna | May 15, 2012 at 03:20 PM
Me knee-jerk reaction is ewww. Does he have to have it from the tap? Or could the milk be eexersspd? I can't wrap my mind around a full grown man being latched on. Since I'm not in this situation, I can't answer truthfully. I've learned not to say what I would or wouldn't do until I'm in those shoes. But for right now, EWWW!
Posted by: Raymond | May 15, 2012 at 04:00 PM
Most of them are garbage. Be careufl if buying an underwire because many will poke through and this could happen while you breastfeed and poke your baby. I was disturbed at how sharp the ends are on some of the bras, like they have been designed to poke through faster. I know women who have accidentally stabbed their nursing babies from these bras and they weren't cheap bras either. The non-underwire usually don't have enough support for an engorged breast. The nursing sport bras are good but may not be appropriate for work. I also wore leisure bras at home, mostly because I would leak and had to wear breast pads to sleep so it didn't get on my sheets. What I did is I wore a regular bra that unlatched in the front (mine all had a Y-back) to work because it was easier to open that kind for pumping and it was still supportive and comfortable at work. At home, I wore the Motherhood Maternity brand sport bras or if I wasn't going out I might wear the leisure nursing bra. Regular sport bras that unhitch in the front work also. I also had a regular bra that was kind of stretchy and low plunge that I could just pull down under my breast and nurse. I bought it at Landsend.com. It wasn't much more supportive than a nursing bra but at least it was comfortable.3 12s You sould like a nurse like me. Definately wear a sport bra to work.
Posted by: Ranjith | May 16, 2012 at 12:07 AM
I have big boobies and had a hard time fiinndg some that fit! I ended up getting some from Ebay for $10 each. I'm 36.5 weeks with twins and currently a 46DD though. I bought some old Medela ones that are cup adjustable, so they will still fit when my milk comes in. Also right now I have the back on as loose as possible, but once the twins are born that should tighten up.You need to take into account that right now the number is increasing quickly and the letter size slowly, but soon the number will decrease and the cup size will go up quickly. So versatility!References :
Posted by: Hennie | May 16, 2012 at 05:05 PM
I'd like to divorce all of mine peoasnrlly!I got some at Walmart that are good. You may want to try nursing stores and see what they have for you and get measured. My husband took me to one and I do have 1 bra that I love- no, it's not an underwire- those are awful!Good luck to you and to your bra search!References :
Posted by: Bas | May 18, 2012 at 01:31 AM
my suggestion for you, comes from what is wonkirg for me right now..just came home 3 weeks ago with my little one honestly you can buy expensive or not but.i got my bras and tank tops at target.they have a great selection., flesh colored, black and white..which is great and comfortable..they are about 17$ a peice, and less for the tanks, they open on both sides but have support, even the tank top ones, and are soft and wash well..i would say buy one of each color, and maybeh a second one of the color you wear most the brand is the target maternity one..and i have yet to find a flaw with them..dont forget to buy plenty of pads .my suggestion is always infinity, the overnight ones..they hold 10X's their weight and never let me down..the are as thin as a panty liner. and also the gerber ultra thin breast pads thin, comfortable, and barely visible from under a tank.hope these help you as much as they have been helping me..congratulations and good luck.
Posted by: Jhonel | May 18, 2012 at 03:10 AM
But, did it fit? I haven't done that, but I am willing to try to get a bra that will fit right. I have worn some relaly cute tops from Target's clearance rack and learned later (upon further inspection) that they were maternity........ I kept them. So maybe now those that saw me are wondering where my new baby is. Oh well.
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