Paula writes:
"My 2 year, 3 month old daughter intensely dislikes the bath. She has never really enjoying bathing, but we've made it tolerable with wind up toys, bath crayons, etc. Lately, just the mention of a bath and she begins crying. She really screams when we wash her hair and continues to cry during the bath. It's become really difficult especially since she needs more frequent bathing with all the playing outside. I've been unable to determine what about the bath she dislikes. I've tried a shower with me, a bath with me, bubbles, blowing bubbles, sticky letters, and every bath toy imaginable. Nothing seems to work and it's only getting worse. Any ideas?"
Could she be afraid that she's going to go down the drain?
Mister Rogers did a segment on one of his shows demonstrating how it's physically impossible for a person to get sucked down the drain. Before I saw that, it never occurred to me that a kid could be afraid of going down the drain. But sure enough, when my son was an older toddler he went through an anti-bath phase because he was afraid of going down the drain. (We showed him how his toys couldn't fit down the drain, so there was no way he could, either. It took a few times, but he got it.) It seems like the fear would be even worse for a kid who already didn't like bathing.
If it's not a fear of going down the drain (or something else you can figure out--and remember that it doesn't have to make sense to you), I'm not sure what else you could do besides try to wait it out. An older child will be able to understand that the bath is going to happen anyway, so she might as well just get it over with. But there's no way a 2-year-old can process that. So aside from running her under the sprinkler or garden hose every night, I'm not sure how you can make it an easy experience. (Unless you can delegate the bathing to your partner, in which case it still won't be an easy experience for your daughter, but it'll be an easy experience for you. <insert evil laugh>)
Did anyone have a 2-year-old bath resistor? What did you do? Did it help?
My son does not like getting water in his ears and eyes. I let him hold a dry washcloth over his eyes when I get his hair wet. Also, when I rinse the soap out of his hair, he leans back without putting his ears in the water, so that, for the most part, I can miss his eyes and ears. (Of course, he is a little older). I save his hair until last b/c it is the part he hates the most. It may make you feel better to know that 2 of my children had a bath resistance phase around age 2. The best thing may very well be putting her in and getting busy washing her immediately, while telling her which body parts you are washing. Trying to distract her with toys could just drag out an already unpleasant experience. Bear with her; this phase should pass.
Posted by: Tabetha | June 27, 2006 at 08:56 AM
Jamie has been more and more resistant to having his hair rinsed. He won't tip his head back yet, I think it makes him nervous. I will try the wash cloth idea. I'm not surprised about the drain thing, since so many kids are afraid of being flushed down the toilet.
Posted by: Ally | June 27, 2006 at 09:18 AM
I haven't had to do this with my DS yet because he likes the bath. But I used to bath my youngest brother when he was that age, who HATED getting his hair rinsed. I gave him the washcloth to cover his eyes, and every time I put the water on his head I would say "Uh-oh, spaghettios!" He would always laugh hysterically. So maybe distraction during the "worst" parts might help. You could try putting a fun CD on for example, maybe a special one that is just for bathtime.
Posted by: Amie | June 27, 2006 at 11:38 AM
When I was little, my father used to rinse my hair by having me tilt my head back and then pouring water from a cup over it, rather than having me lean back into the water. I think the smaller volume of water helped. I don't ever remember liking getting ny eyes, ears, and nose wet, and I didn't really learn to swim because of it. But I'm 26 and I take showers now, so this, too, shall pass.
Posted by: someone | June 27, 2006 at 11:47 AM
If she feels comfortable doing so, she might try bathing with her daughter. My daughter (18 mos) hates bathing by herself, but loves it if I get in the tub with her. And when I rinse her hair she lays on her back on me with her head on my chest and I lean back so that she is inclined and then I pour water from a cup onto just her head so that none gets in her eyes. As long as I'm with her in the tub she thinks it's great fun and cries when we have to get out, but if I bathe her by herself she cries and wants to get out after a minute. I don't know how long I'll be bathing with her, but it seems worth it now.
Posted by: J | June 27, 2006 at 12:56 PM
If she feels comfortable doing so, she might try bathing with her daughter. My daughter (18 mos) hates bathing by herself, but loves it if I get in the tub with her. And when I rinse her hair she lays on her back on me with her head on my chest and I lean back so that she is inclined and then I pour water from a cup onto just her head so that none gets in her eyes. As long as I'm with her in the tub she thinks it's great fun and cries when we have to get out, but if I bathe her by herself she cries and wants to get out after a minute. I don't know how long I'll be bathing with her, but it seems worth it now.
Posted by: J | June 27, 2006 at 12:56 PM
Hm. Could be she dislikes the slippery feeling of the bath? Put down a towel for her to sit on? Or maybe the temperature? Try a few degrees warmer or cooler? Or just fill up the tub an inch or two so it's more like sitting in a puddle and playing, and if she accepts that, add a bit more water gradually over time? Or try bathing her in the sink instead of in the bathtub?
I'd probably also try putting her in the bathtub without water a few times. Just have her sit on a towel and play with toys, and let her get used to the tub as a safe place?
Posted by: Lil' Liberal | June 27, 2006 at 12:58 PM
Oh- when I was a little kid, I remember hating having my hair washed, too. So my mom would gradually wash out the soap by scooping up water in her hands and using that to rinse the soap off of my head. She'd then use a wet washcloth on the front part closest to my eyes.
If the kidlet's big enough to understand, having him/her cover their ears with their hands might also be beneficial?
Posted by: Lil' Liberal | June 27, 2006 at 01:00 PM
Take her in the shower with you.
You can hold her in your arms to make her feel safe and dance her into and out of the water. My kids LOVE this.
Also you might try bathing her in the kitchen sink rather than the tub. It is smaller, closer to you, she might feel more secure.
And I second the suggestion of bathing together too.
Posted by: joline | June 27, 2006 at 01:04 PM
Polly is 14 months, and she began resisting her bath at about 12 months. She hadn't ever been enthusiastic about it before, but her resistance was more passive than anything else. What finally worked was getting her under the shower, which she ADORES. She loves to play with the water, hang on to the soap dish, and is in hog heaven. Since I am too big and unwieldly to get into the shower with her (and with an 8-month belly my balance is shot), my husband does the honors, and they have a blast. I catch her with a towel when they're done.
Posted by: Menita | June 27, 2006 at 02:19 PM
Folks, I know this sounds wrist-slappy, but Paula has tried letting her daughter shower with her or bathe with her, and no.
What worked for us was waiting it out.
Sorry.
If it's summer, I recommend letting the kid have a nice long splash in a wading pool. It's better than nothing. If that isn't possible, see if she'll let you wash her off while she stands in the empty tub, a viselike grip on the soap holder.
When mine returned to the ranks of bathers, he still hated having his hair rinsed. I finally persuaded him to tip his head back by demonstrating on a rubber ducky how the water stayed out of the ducky's eye if the head tipped back. Then he rinsed the ducky while I rinsed him.
Posted by: Slim | June 27, 2006 at 02:46 PM
When I was young, we didn't have a bathtub, only a shower stall. I was too little to shower, so I used to lay down on the kitchen counter with my head over the sink and my mom would wash my hair. I remember loving it because I was face to face with her and had her undivided attention.
Also, when I was big enough to shower, she installed a shower head that was adjustable in height and was detachable. Made the shower (and the general experience) a little more kid friendly.
Here is a pic: http://www.plumbingsupply.com/alsonswallbarhandshowers.html
Good luck!
Posted by: Shara | June 27, 2006 at 03:12 PM
At Babies r Us they sell these large inflatable tubs. They are 1/3 the size of regular bathtub and can hold toddlers. They are colorful and comfortable and safe. When my niece started disliking baths, I bought her one. She liked it a lot better than the big bathtub. For her, it was not the drain, it was two things 1) She did not like the hard surface of the tub and she did not like the fact that she would slide a lot whenever she moved, even with those no-slip bath stickers. Try getting her this tub, it's about $15 and tell her it's her own pool and how nice and comfy it is and it may help. That's what my daughter bathes in and if we ever forget to bring it along while we travel, we end up buying another one. She won't go near a large tub or a shower. Good luck.
Posted by: lolismum | June 27, 2006 at 04:03 PM
I always had my hair washed in the kitchen sink when I was small, before I could shower. I assumed that was normal. a have never washed my hair in the bath...it seems icky to me with the dirty bath water thing. I wach my kdis hair in the sink. They love baths. They are not fond of hair washing (and hated it more when I tried in the tub because hey, it could be my issue.) If you try the sink top, use a cup if you don't have a sprayer or your sprayer gets water all over.
(And yes the sink can be dirty too. But less bending involved in cleaning.)
Posted by: Sarah | June 27, 2006 at 09:34 PM
Your child may or may not have the same fear, but it can't hurt to offer it up: I remember being a small child and being terrified of the bath, just because of having my hair washed.
The feeling of being completely out of control, as my mother held my head back, while I was floating in deep (to me) and easily drown-able water, and knowing that she was about to dump more water over my head and face was about the most horrific thing in my world, at the time. Its the fear of drowning and having absolutely no control over my own arms, legs, and breathing that did it to me.
I usually try to avoid this problem with my son, by making sure the water is very shallow, only, say to his waist and using only the tiniest, self-diluted bit of shampoo in his hair and rinsing it A LOT with just a wet wash cloth, rather than dumping water over his head. But, this may not work if your daughter has a lot of hair.
If it comes down to it, consider getting one of these:
http://www.onestepahead.com/jump.jsp?lGen=detail&itemID=128&itemType=PRODUCT&iProductID=128&change=117
Whatever you do, I hope it works for you. This phase is just no fun for anyone.
Posted by: kris | June 27, 2006 at 09:49 PM
Maybe there is a "source" of the problem. I have a 4YO who does not want to take a bath in the upstairs bathroom (the one we paid a boatload of $$ to tile because the previous owners had carpet in there). Her most recent excuse was that the "stream(aka drain)talks." We thought that it was just her imagination, but last night we figured out the source of the "voice." She had finally consented to a bath up there (while my husband supervised), while I took a bath downstairs. The pipes made such a racket that it scared her. We explained what happened, but I'm not sure it stuck.
Posted by: MelG-F | June 27, 2006 at 11:46 PM
I used to give my roommate's 2 year old son baths at night - and he hated them. My roommate dreaded doing the bath routine so much that she knocked $50 off my rent each month if I would do it for her. After trying everything I could think of - toys, music, taking a bath or shower with him, using a wet washcloth to rinse off his head, etc - it wasn't getting any better. One Friday night I was just too tired to do it, so we skipped bath until Saturday morning. He loved his bath so much that I had to pry him out of the tub so he wouldn't prune up.
We figured that he didn't like baths at night because that meant bedtime was coming. He switched over to morning baths and had no problems.
Posted by: carmie | June 28, 2006 at 12:42 AM
My nephew had a similar problem.
We waited it out. Since he was (and still is) a dirt magnet, we did strip washes. Filled the sink up with warm water, stood him on a towel and sponged him all over. That he was fine with.
A couple of weeks later, we tried the bath again and he wasn't too bothered by it. It seemed that it was a combination of things bothering him - his mum ran the water too hot, he didn't like getting his hair wet and the water going down the drain and through the pipes made a racket.
We also got him a toy watering can that we used to wash his hair. He got to play with it, and use it to wash my hair as well. Washing my hair really helped him to accept having his washed.
Posted by: DMouse | June 28, 2006 at 05:25 AM
One suggestion for those considering bathing/showering with but feeling hesitant/uncomfortable, I do this every now and then and when I do I wear my bathing suit. This allows me to get past my issues/squeamishness and just have fun with my boy.
Posted by: Kate | June 28, 2006 at 07:29 AM
my child hated the bath, this is because she got into the vasiline and globbed it all in her hair so i had to give her like 5 baths a day until it got out. So i thin that if you give too manybaths that that can cause it to. As a matter of fact I am trying to persuade her right now to take a bath. good luck
Posted by: amy lyrock | October 18, 2007 at 04:58 PM
My two-year-old loves the bath. He hates getting his hair washed. Right now we have no solutions for this. We play a fun cd, we have toys, we have crayons, we have him lean back, we've leaned his head back, and we've covered his face with a wash cloth. Nothing makes a difference. We've just decided to do it as fast as we can and get it over with (band-aid method) and he cries and screams, but once it's over, it's over. I guess we're just hoping it's a phase and it will pass.
Posted by: B.Fulton | April 30, 2008 at 08:51 PM
My daughter has just turned two and I can not get her to move from the tubby in the sink to the big tub. She is getting to big for the sink. In the sink tubby playing with her toys and reading books all is ok until hair wash time then melt downs begin. I have tried putting a dry towel up to her eyes and I just use the wash cloth to rinse out the shampoo but she still freaks out. I also bought those visors and the special pitcher but she won't wear the visor and still has a fit with the pitcher. I too try to go as fast as possible to reduce the stress on us all. I have also tried everything I can think of to move her to the big tub including putting her in w/o water, buying tons of toys, getting in with her. But nothing works. Tonight we tried again and she got so upset she almost threw up! She refuses to sit down. She just screams and cries. It helps to just read that she is like other children and other parents are dealing with the same issues.
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Posted by: cxtwb zqegptrf | November 24, 2008 at 04:06 AM
Thank you all for your various methods of accomplishing said task. I am fortunate to have two daughters who love their baths, as of right now at any rate. I hope this doeskin change as they grow older.
Posted by: Malcom Reynolds | January 17, 2011 at 10:35 AM
I am so glad to know that I am not the only one that has this problem. Thank you for the tips. I will have to try some of these ideas. I think my kid hates the bath so much he was stealing the plumbers tape (http://www.breakdowntape.com) and tools so he couldn't fix the shower.
Posted by: Natalie Dalton | November 16, 2011 at 03:56 PM
This post saw that, it never took place to me that a kid could be frightened of going down the strain. But sure enough, when his son was an mature child he went through an anti-bath stage because he was frightened of going down the strain.
Posted by: כספות | February 09, 2012 at 04:14 AM
Aaaah, yes I've had some fantastical covsrenations in the tub on a regular cellphone too the secret is to catch the call before you have shampoo on your head. For some people always get a bit uncomfortable talking to you when they hear the telltale bathroom echo though, or if they realise you are in fact nekkid on the other end (even if it's not a video call). I think this gadget will have a very limited market for exactly those reasons. ;-)
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Anne, its because my sheowr is so powerful it pumps out tons and tons of water this little gadget halves the amount of water used but we still get a good sheowr.My sheowr also comes straight from my hot water tank which only heats up water over night to last all the following day James it sure is
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