Q&A: mom eating nothing but junk food

A reader I'll nickname "Sunshine," who wrote me a few months ago about easing her encroaching PPD, writes:

I have another question for you but it's more general, sort of to see what your opinion is since the opinions I've found on the internet (Mothering.com, babycenter.com, kellymom.com and elsewhere) vary widely.  I searched your archives and couldn't find a similar question, but I apologize if I missed it.

The question is, do you believe it's detrimental to eat junk food while BF?  I started out eating a great diet and really tried to hold the line on trans fats since I know they pass into the milk, but for the past few months (depression?) I have been eating increased amounts of processed and fast foods.  I mean, I eat fast food pretty much every day now.  I still take supplements - a multivite with iron, probiotics, and Omega-3's (right now: cod liver oil) but I basically eat like crap.  Almost no fresh fruits and veggies and I never cook at home; the best I can do is Annie's Organics meals.  :-(  I feel so guilty about it but can't seem to pull myself out of the cycle.  On Mothering.com I have basically been made to feel that I am poisoning my baby and that she would be better off with formula.   Anyway, I have a feeling I'm being defensive at MDC about the issue because I suspect they are right.  However Kellymom disagrees.  I so want to believe Kellymom, but...

I feel like a bad mother in so many ways right now...but this has been weighing on me...

So, I just wanted to get your opinion.  Also, I think I am finally going to see someone about the depression.  I have been avoiding it because I hate dealing with mental health professionals.  Hate it, hate it.  And I'm not sure (from prior experience) that there is much they can offer me.  But I have to do something; I'm becoming more and more apathetic and my daughter deserves better.

In the past when I suffered depression it was all-consuming.  I find that this is not the case with what I am experiencing now.  My daughter brings me much joy, and I am not living under a black cloud.  But still, I do not feel right - I have little energy and am very critical and crotchety and feel hopeless and overwhelmed almost every day, and like I'm not a good-enough mother.  So that is depression, right?"

Honestly, I think it's malnutrition, with a sweet lacy overlay of depression.

I don't know how detrimental it is to your milk to eat nothing but junk food while breastfeeding. I do know that breastmilk has benefits formula will never have even when it has high concentrations of PCBs or other chemicals and even when the mother smokes. Breastfeeding is a robust process. We're designed to feed our babies even under horrible conditions. Women kept and keep their children alive breastfeeding in concentration camps, in droughts and famines, in refugee camps. Unless you're taking drugs that will hurt your baby or are in danger of passing HIV to your baby, your milk is always the best choice from a health standpoint.

However, your milk is going to be better quality the better you eat. We know that cows' milk from cows that eat grass instead of grain is higher in nutrients and CLA (conjugated linoleic acid). We know that eating oatmeal increases the quantity of human breastmilk. Anecdotally speaking, I know of someone who was pumping and when she started taking alfalfa (the leaves, but mashed into tablet form) she noticed her milk had a thicker cream layer than when she wasn't taking alfalfa. Babies prefer to drink milk that is flavored with garlic that their mothers have eaten than milk without garlic flavors. It just makes sense that the better the food that goes into your mouth, the better the food that comes out of your breasts.

Junk food and fast food are addicting. It doesn't surprise me one bit that you feel powerless to start eating better--those foods are designed by the manufacturers to make you want to eat more and more of them. It's like being addicted to a drug. But you're going to have to struggle as hard as you can to work yourself free. It's the only way you're going to feel any better.

Any responsible mental health professional is going to ask you about your lifestyle and diet before prescribing any medications. And s/he isn't going to prescribe anything without also asking you to get back on track with your diet as soon as possible. Anyone who does prescribe meds for you at this point without looking at your diet is only going to do you a disservice. Yes, in the short term you might feel better (although many anti-depressants take a few weeks to kick in fully), but unless you start eating better and taking care of yourself physically and emotionally, you're going to get weaker and more drained and lifeless and you'll have to keep upping your dose.

So call to make an appointment, but start changing your diet today. That way, by the time you get in to see the doctor or therapist you'll have a truer picture of your mental health. You'll know how much of what you're feeling is depression and what is because you're not giving your body the fuel it needs to keep you mentally healthy and full of energy. If you do decide to go on anti-depressants, they'll work that much better because your body will be healthy and functioning better.

You can do this. You can change your diet. For yourself and for your daughter.

After you read this, have a little cry. Then pack up your daughter and go to the grocery store. While you're there I want you to buy:

• a bag of baby carrots

• a pint of grape tomatoes

• a bunch of broccoli

• 2 cucumbers

• 2 bell peppers

• a bunch of bananas

• 6 apples

• a tub of garlic hummus

• some crystallized ginger

• a package of frozen peas

Cut up the cucumber, broccoli, and bell pepper as soon as you get home from the store and leave them in a Tupperware in the refrigerator. Before you seal the top of the container, eat a few pieces.

In the morning when you wake up, drink a big glass of water and eat a banana. Then get out a handful of baby carrots, a handful of tomatoes, half a cucumber, some spears of broccoli, and half a bell pepper. Put them on a plate in the living room or playroom or wherever you spend time with your daughter. Try to eat a few bites every half hour or so, either nude or dipped in the garlic hummus.

If you do end up going to a fast food place, force yourself to order a salad, or at the very least get lettuce and tomato on your burger. (Pickles, while delicious, don't count as vegetables.)

When you hit the 3 o'clock slump, eat an apple (with peanut butter or cream cheese, if you want) and a few pieces of crystallized ginger.

While you're cooking your mac and cheese, grab a big handful of frozen peas and put it in the bottom of the strainer. When you pour the pasta through the strainer the water will thaw the peas and the pasta will heat them up. Toss them together with the cheese sauce so you have mac and cheese and peas.

If you just eat a little bit of any kind of vegetable at a time, before you know it you'll have eaten 5 servings a day. In a few days you'll start to feel a little better, and a little more energized. You might find the strength to stay away from the fast food places and eat better meals.

I know so many of us have been stuck in a trap of needing to use food to regulate our moods, even when we know the foods are just making things worse. If you can just take baby steps and keep checking in, we can help you get out from under the junk food depression. I wish I lived near you and could just bring you a big salad and some pasta primavera and a hug.

You're a good mom. All you can ever do is the best you can at that moment. You're having a crappy time right now, but you're still the perfect mother for your daughter. Things will get better.

Comments

[Ariella]

I think one thing it's important to note here is that taking Omega-3s in the form of cod liver oil can potentially be detrimental because of the toxins that can be found in fish oil. Things like mercury and other heavy metals can be at potentially toxic levels, and it's much better to take Omega-3s in the form of cold-pressed flax seed oil.

You can find flax seed oil in any Wegmans, health food store, or Whole Foods. Just make sure you keep it refrigerated and you can drizzle it over salads, in yogurt, or in a smoothie. You could also just eat it straight off a spoon (like I do) if you're unromantic about everything needing to taste good.

Flax seed oil degenerates fairly quickly, so it's very important to keep it refrigerated. When you buy it, also make sure it's refrigerated and you can also ask the manager at the store in which you purchase it whether the truck it came in is refrigerated.

One last thing: I know many people take Omega-3s in pill form, but if you look at the amount of healthy fatty acids you're getting in the pills versus how many you get in two tbsp. of the actual oil, you'll see that the oil is not only healthier in terms of the amount you get, it's also less expensive. A lot of people don't like to take the oil straight because, well, it's oil, but it is much better for you, so if you can deal with it, then just do it.

(I take Omega-3s because of a knee injury. They reduce swelling and lubricate the joints).

Oh, also: if you don't like the sound of taking the oil straight, you also have the option of getting whole flax seeds and grinding them and putting them in your oatmeal or breads or whatever. They, too, must be kept in the freezer to assure that they're not going to go rancid.

[Kate]

You could try corn in place of peas in the mac and cheese if you don't like peas. I love mine that way.

[anon]

Hugs to you. I did the same thing. :-( I know that breastmilk is best, no matter what the mom does (within reason, no cocaine!), but I'm sad that I abused my body by feeding it all junk food for so long, and missed the opportunity to have even better breastmilk.

It's really hard to totally change overnight, so I would recommend (1) biting the bullet and seeing a mental health professional, or several until you find one you are comfortable with, (2) starting to add healthy foods in instead of or in addition to junk foods. You can get milk and apple walnut salad at McDonalds. Soup is also a great way to get vegetables. Fruit can be dipped in melted chocolate. :-) You don't have to be perfect, just a small bit better than yesterday. You can do it!

[wix]

if you can't motivate yourself to get healthy for your own sake, consider that the things your daughter sees you doing are the things she will eventually do. it's easier sometimes to lead by example when you remember that that's what you're doing when you have a child, regardless of whether you're being the 'best' example or not. anon makes a good point, you don't have to be perfect, just be better than yesterday. good luck!

[Cat, Galloping]

That's good advice for getting veggies into your diet. I think I'll try it!

One important thing about nutrition and its affect on mood: Protein is really, really important. Without protein, every time you eat sugar (like the apple), your blood sugar goes up, and then it crashes, and you have mood swings.

I try to eat protein every single time I eat. So peanut butter or cheddar cheese with my apple, milk in my cereal, eggs with my toast, walnuts in my salad, etc. It helps your body maintain a much more even flow of energy and that has to affect your mood, too.

[Kate]

Just wanted to note that summer is on the way. I personally always eat better in the summer because the produce is so appealing. Although I have a sweet tooth (exacerbated by my recent pregnancy), once I have farmstand apricots, strawberries, and peaches in my kitchen I ignore all the junk.

The veggies are better, too--and require practically no prep. Slice a tomato & some mozzarella, rip some basil, drizzle olive oil, and tear some bread = lunch. I often make a huge quantity of gazpacho (no cooking, just chopping and blending) when the tomatoes/peppers/cucumbers are at their peak and freeze it in small batches.

As far as the breastfeeding goes...I'd believe kellymom, personally; it's evidence-based and rational. Sometimes people on MDC can be a little, um, reactionary. To put it mildly.

Keep in mind that women have breastfed in all sorts of less-than-ideal situations--after natural disasters, in concentration camps, etc. The human body is an amazing thing; just keep the faith. Which isn't to say that you can't work on your eating habits. As wix pointed out, eventually your daughter will be eating food and making choices about what to put in her mouth and looking to you for guidance, so it's good to be prepared for that.

I'd rank myself as a better than average eater, but not ideal by *any* means (see sweet tooth above)...my daughter (almost 2 and still nursing) has been, thank G-d, so healthy and is a better eater than most of her playgroup peers. Jury's still out on the newborn; hopefully it will go as well with him as it has with his sister.

Take small steps and please don't be too hard on yourself!

[Kelly]

I have no experience with MDC, but I just wish women could be more supportive and less judgmental, especially when someone is clearly in pain.

What I was told about nutrition during pregnancy and breastfeeding is that the baby always gleans the best from what you eat. And then you get the dregs. So, nutritionally speaking, your baby will be just fine. You, of course, could be feeling much better.

I think Moxie's advice is fantastic. The better you eat, the more you move, the better you'll feel.

Here's a way I get a serving or two of fruit first thing in the AM:

-put some soy milk (I like soy milk because it makes the smoothie extra creamy and so the smoothie doesn't separate like a milk-based one) in a blender
-add a whole sliced banana and some frozen fruit, like berries or peaches
-add a splash of OJ, if you'd like, or some fruit yogurt
-blend and enjoy!

With two kids, sometimes I find it's easier to drink a meal.

And finally, seek community where people are supportive in their advice. Best of luck to you. I hope you're feeling better soon.

[Jamie]

Here, Sunshine, I am handing you an industrial-sized cyber-saltshaker. Sprinkle liberally at MDC. I've been lurking on one of the MDC boards just recently, coincidentally, and I would really encourage you not to let their POV get you down.

Kelly of kellymom.com is a registered lactation consultant, as am I, and her recommendations are evidence-based. I just looked up the effects of maternal diet on breastmilk composition in the 2005 edition of Ruth Lawrence's book Breastfeeding: A Guide for the Medical Profession to make sure I was remembering correctly. The fats in your milk reflect, to a degree, the fats in your diet. American women tend to have less DHA in their milk than women in other parts of the world. Women who eat more trans fats have more trans fats in their milk. But there is NO evidence anywhere that their babies would be better off with formula, and plenty to the contrary.

Studies done in the US on the effects of breastfeeding include plenty of women who eat fast food. Researchers aren't cherry-picking women who only eat organic vegan diets. And they're finding that human milk makes a big difference to human babies.

Good luck to you, Sunshine!

[Michelle]

i was feeling the same way a few months ago. during a checkup, my doctor had my thyroid tested. i had hypothyroidism and after treatment i feel like my old self again. Tyroid problems are very common in new moms. i'd have yours checked.

[beth]

It's probably also worth noting that corn isn't really a vegetable - it's a grain. That's not to say that you shouldn't eat corn with your mac and cheese - grains are great! Corn is often fresher and more hydrated than most grains, too, if you're eating it straight. It's just good to keep in mind that you still need to provide your body with actual vegetables in addition to the corn.

[Carrie]

Fixing the diet is a great idea, but if you're finding it terribly difficult to do that, it might be easier to be motivated once you've seen someone and, perhaps, gotten some help. It's a terrible cycle and which part is easier to fix first only you can decide. Fix the diet, seek professional help or get the help, then fix the diet. Either way, once you're done that, you'll feel better because you will have done something. Good luck.

[Jamie]

You know, I keep thinking about this post and I'm really irritated by the type of breastfeeding "advocacy" that implies, "My milk is better than yours." If you went to the MDC boards and told them your MIL was saying your milk wasn't good enough for your baby, they would be all up in your MIL's butt. What are thinking, suggesting it to you themselves? Grrrr.

If you have specific questions about maternal diet and breastmilk composition, I'd be glad to let you know what Jan Riordan and Ruth Lawrence have to say. I'm thinking the books might be put to better use thumping some people upside the head, though.

[arb]

Don't be afraid to make your vegetables a little more luxurious (calorie-wise). Any way you can get them into you at this point is probably good. The mac-n-cheese and peas suggestion is perfect. Melt a little cheddar cheese over that broccoli. Have a baked potato with whatever you want on top: a liberal dose of butter might not be nutritionally ideal, but it's still better than fast food fries or chips.

Splurge on short-cuts: mini carrots, prewashed spinach, prewashed salads, etc.

Fax oil in a smoothie is really good. Get a bunch of bananas, let them ripen, then peel them, and put them into a freezer bag. In the morning make a smoothie with frozen banana, yogurt (vanilla if you have a sweet tooth), milk or soymilk, a bit of juice, a Tbsp of the flax oil, a couple of ice cubes for extra icy goodness, and whatever else sounds appealing. This is super yummy, sweet, and you will feel like you've done something good for yourself at the start of the day.

I wish you all the luck in the world—you deserve to feel better.

[Moxytc]

Another way to sneak vegetables in - Salsa. Add some to your mac and cheese. Add some to your omlette/scrambled eggs.

[Mary]

When I was feeling a little PPD-y after my second baby (bursting into tears at the thought of having to schedule a well-baby visit), my therapist told me that before she would put me back on Welbutrin, she wanted me to spend an hour outside in the sun every day, and excercise for at least 20 minutes five times a week. And I had to exercise enough to break a sweat. I was very skeptical. And not very happy about excercising. But it really worked.

Good luck! I don't have a super healthy diet, but I try to limit my junk food to stuff that doesn't have trans fat or corn syrup. Baby steps.

[Shandra]

Man that's so hard. I have some ideas for helping step off the junk food. Here are some:

Buy frozen french fries, but the least fat kind you can find by reading the label, or even better, sweet potato cut like fries if you can get it there (here I get it at Cosco). Bake them and then start topping them with chopped tomato and cheese and (if you like) green onion. (If you are really not able to do the chopping, try salsa or bruscetta). Use that for your fix for a while for fries, if you've been eating them.

Buy a bag of frozen mixed pepper and frozen chopped onion and either beef strips or chicken strips, tortillas, low-fat sour cream (or better yet, plain yoghurt), grated cheese, and that pre-mixed salad in a bag. That makes a fast fajita recipe and it gives you the "mouth feel" of Taco Bell type stuff. It's only one pan. You can leave the meat parts out if you want and just have extra cheese. The frozen veggies aren't that bad and if they're all chopped it really does help.

Don't forget that meals don't have to be hot - it's totally fine to make a sandwich, just try for a veggie based one. Jarred roasted red pepper + hummus (chick peas! a legume!) is awesome and it only involves spreading the hummus and pulling the roasted pepper out of the jar and throwing onto the bread. Other ideas for that kind of thing are: if you can get pre-grated or julienned carrot, mix it with a bit of mayo and some raisins and stuff into a pita. Bonus points for adding in bits of broccoli or grated zucchini. Cucumber and cream cheese is another easy sandwich.

Throw a pre-mixed salad on the side, one not iceberg-lettuce based, and you're getting to cool.

In England they had fabulous coleslaw + grated cheese sandwiches. It sounds weird but it was good. And you can buy coleslaw at the deli and pre-grated cheese. Believe it or not cabbage is good for you, if your baby can tolerate it. :)

One of my most awesome treats to self is this: a whole wheat pita bread or, in a pinch, a whole wheat english muffin. Slice an apple and then put feta on top (or cheddar); drizzle with a bit of honey and broil for 3 minutes. It's sweet and fatty at once ('cause of the cheese) but has apple.

I don't think the Amy's Organic meals are that bad though and I think truly, it's okay for your baby. I just think you might feel better yourself if you could add some veggies back in.

[Amy]

First of all, congratulations on nursing your baby through depression. It is hard work and you are doing a great job! Don't let anyone tell you differently. You have gotten some great advice so far.

Just wanted to add that when I am really stressed and busy the only way I get veggies into my diet is Trader Joe's. When I have the time I always cook with fresh, minimally processed food but when I don't I just rely on frozen. If you have a Trader Joe's near you check out the frozen foods section. If you don't check out the frozen foods section in any decent grocery store. They have lots of pre-packeged frozen veggie strir fry mixes. Many of them are very, very good and very reasonably priced. Throw a tiny bit of olive oil in a pan, open a package and stir fry. Dinner in 15 minutes or less. Yes they have some preservatives and stuff in them but they are so much healthier and easier (quicker than a trip to the drive through, I promise) than fast food.

But even if you aren't able to make any changes right now (I hope you can because you will feel better) you are still doing great feeding your daughter. Hang in there

[posthipchick]

Also? If you have some friends around that enjoy cooking, have them come to your place- or go to theirs- and cook healthy meals together (I find company is one of the best alleviators of depression). Or some people enjoy those 'chop shop' type places for getting all your meals pre-prepared.

[anon]

I LOVE frozen mango chunks from Trader Joe's. I also love microwaved frozen cherries with a spoonful of that high-fat vanilla ice cream on top. If you also add a spoonful of granola, it's like cherry cobbler. Drool...

I am liking the idea of the cole slaw and cheese sandwich...yes, I am definitely pregnant, LOL!

[wix]

mmm, shandra has some GREAT suggestions. if i hadn't just eaten lunch (an amy's veggie korma, actually!), y'all would all be able to hear my stomach growling.

here are a few other suggestions to add to the great ones already proffered by the ladies. these are all recipes posted on my site, which means i've tried them and loved them and they're working-mama-friendly.

roasted vegetable vegan chili
http://www.luckyhazel.com/wish/archives/001928.shtml

wfm crossroads (austin tx) smoothies (non dairy)
http://www.luckyhazel.com/wish/archives/000082.shtml

brussels sprouts + pancetta
http://www.luckyhazel.com/wish/archives/000083.shtml

orange-glazed acorn squash
http://www.luckyhazel.com/wish/archives/000217.shtml

my favorite salad (with suggestions on others in the comments)
http://www.luckyhazel.com/wish/archives/001822.shtml

i hope you check back in a couple of weeks and let us know how you're doing!

[Sunshine]

Thanks everyone for all the helpful comments and Moxie, thank you SO MUCH for answering my question...I have been to Whole Foods, and my fridge is stocked with healthy fresh produce. I ate AT LEAST 5 fruits and veggies today! Wow! It's been a while since that happened. I did want to address the Cod Liver Oil thing...I take Carlson's brand and the label says that it is tested for contaminants and they are below detectable levels...I used to take generic fish oil capsules that were 'molecularly distilled' to eliminate contaminants. Are these products still risky with such labeling? Anyway, I will switch to flaxseed oil, and it does make more sense to just take the oil rather than the capsules. Wix, thank you so much for the recipes, I hope to try them soon. Oh, and I have an appointment with a counselor for next Thursday - wish me luck. Thanks again, everyone.