Air travel with babies and toddlers

I've gotten a couple of questions about traveling by plane with babies and toddlers recently. This is a subject I actually know a fair amount about--by the time El Chico was 2 years old he'd been on 24 flights ranging in length from 1 to 5 hours. I accumulated a lot of knowledge about making air travel with a young child easier, so here are my general tips for air travel with kids under the age of 2 to 2.5 or so. (All our flights were in the US or to Puerto Rico, so these tips don't specifically apply to international travel.)

1. Try to book your flight for off times, if possible. If you can get a flight with a few empty seats you'll be much more comfortable than on a flight that's full, and you'll be more likely to stay on schedule. Also take into consideration when your baby usually sleeps. In general, you'll be better waking a baby up to catch an early flight or flying during nap time than keeping your baby up for a late flight.

2. Don't even bother trying to get the bulkhead seats on a domestic flight. Nowadays they're all reserved for people with mobility issues (which is proper, IMO). You'll have more room on most flights if you sit in the back, plus the greater engine noise back there might lull your child to sleep. And you'll be closer to the bathrooms.

3. Wear your baby through the airport. If your baby isn't old enough to reliably walk through the airport, wear him/her in a front carrier, sling, Ergo, Sutemi, etc. The most obvious reason for this is because it leaves you hands-free. The emotional reason, though, is that you never have to worry, even for a second, about your child being away from you in the airport. Since you'll have your baby strapped to you, you can use your stroller (or carseat-snapped-into-stroller combo) as a luggage cart for your diaper bag and carry-on.

4. You'll have to fold up your stroller (and break down the carseat-stroller system) to put it through the security x-ray machine. (That's another reason you want to wear your baby instead of having him/her in the stroller.) So while you're waiting in line and taking off your shoes and stuff, start getting your stroller ready to be folded down. Put it through the machine, then walk through yourself. You'll probably have to take the baby out of the carrier (although you can ask if they'll just wand between you and they might oblige) and hold her/him out in front of you as you walk through. Then you can put the baby back in, get the stroller and pop it up, put your bags on it, put on your shoes, and go on your merry way.

Yes, it's possible to do this by yourself. It's easier to do with a partner, but you can certainly do it by yourself, and people almost always offer to help you.

5. You can preboard, but consider if you want to or not. If you have a happy baby, it might build a little goodwill to wait until the plane's mostly boarded to parade your smiley cute cherub down the aisles. Then, if your kid wigs out in the middle of the flight, people will think, "Oh, that sweet little baby is upset" instead of "Whose screaming brat is that?"

If you have a toddler, wait until the last possible minute to board, and spend the extra time having your partner run running the kid around in the terminal to get out energy. You might luck out and have the kid fall asleep right after takeoff. And if everyone on the plane sees you running around like a fool in the terminal, if your kid causes a ruckus on the flight they'll all think "At least the parents did the best they could" instead of "Why can't they make him shut up?"

6. Gate-check your stroller (and your infant carseat if you didn't buy a separate seat for your baby). That way your luggage trolley will be right there ready for you when you deplane.

7. If you're checking your convertible carseat (because you didn't buy a seat for your older baby or toddler), buy one of these bags to protect it. The bag has straps so you can wear it on your back and wheels so you can pull it behind you with one hand. Our first one survived a couple dozen flights before finally giving up the ghost, so it ended up to be only around $1 per use.

8. If your child is over 18 months or so, consider carefully whether you actually need a stroller with you. If you won't need one at your destination, it might just end up being a liability through the airport. You can bring a diaper bag and wheelie bag (or carseat in the rolling bag) and check everything else, and just walk slowly enough for your child to keep up. If you're only using the stroller as a luggage trolley, you might want to use a cheapie $15 umbrella stroller so if it gets crunched in baggage you won't be upset.

9. If your child is crawling or walking and you have the choice between a non-stop longer flight and two shorter flights, go with the two flights. Your baby will really appreciate the chance to crawl or run around in the airport during the layover. The novelty of boarding and takeoff will buy you enough cooperative time that the extra time in the air shouldn't be a problem.

10. Don't borrow trouble. Traveling with an infant is an opportunity for the universe to be nice to you. Sometimes it bites you in the ass, but more often than not, strangers come to your rescue. The number of times older white businessmen (who I thought would be the most hostile because they're trying to do serious business) have said nice things to me about my crying baby or about my nursing the baby (while being squashed in the seat next to them) is overwhelming.

11. The months between 10 and 21 seem to be the worst for travel. Before that babies are so pliable and easily entertained. After that toddlers are so impressed by the ritual of flying (check-in, security, waiting, boarding, takeoff, beverage cart, landing, deplaning, baggage claim). If you're in the Red Zone of travel, you'll have to suck it up, but know that it'll get better in a few months.

12. If your kid is particularly enamored of a certain DVD, you might want to bring along a portable DVD player for the trip. But it could be something extra to carry that doesn't actually buy you much quiet behavior if your kid ends up not being sucked in by the DVD on the actual flight. It's always safe to bring a bunch of new little toys along, though, so every 15-30 minutes you can pull out some new doodad to entertain the child.

13. Here's the obvious stuff: With a baby, nurse or give a bottle on the way up and down to prevent painful ear pressure. Make sure you have a change of clothes for the baby and for you in your bag, and plenty of wipes and extra diapers. Bring water and snacks (especially when your kids are older) since you have no idea what delays will happen and you don't want to be hungry or thirsty or be with a hungry or thirsty kid. Accept help where it's offered. And have a good trip.

Anything I forgot?

Comments

[Maria]

Our little guy too is an air-travel veteran. Numerous trips to the grandparents', and two trips to Europe before he was two. We invested in a sit-n-stroll, which is a car seat with wheels that fold down from underneath to turn in to a stroller. (We got ours from One Step Ahead, though I've seen them in the Sky Mall magazine too). A godsend! We always bought him a seat for the international flights, even though he was young enough for us to hold him, and it is definitely worth the money. He needed to sleep, so we made a blanket tent around his seat to block light, and we were free to sleep or eat or read. On our second European trip, I did bring toys in the diaper bag, but he was mostly interested in the empty containers from lunch and the air sickness bag (in and out, in and out, crinkle the paper etc). So be creative, and you may not have to lug a huge heavy bag onto the plane!

Ed. note: The Sit 'n' Stroll is around $199. No extra charge for the apostrophes.

Airsick bags make great hand puppets, also.

[suz]

Mad's been on 16 flights so far at 14mo, and your advice is dead-on, especially slinging through the airport. Best things ever, those slings.

I will add two things:

1. PACK A CHANGE OF CLOTHES FOR THE GROWN-UPS IN THE CARRY-ON. You will regret it if you don't.

2. Some people will be offended by the presence of babies and toddlers regardless of your or the child's behavior. We got lots of dirty looks on Maddie's first few flights when she SLEPT THE ENTIRE TIME and made not a sound. This was actually good for me, as I learned quickly to just ignore everyone else and make sure my kid was comfy. Worst offenders: teenage/college age boys. The business men are often away from their own kids an delighted to make googly eyes at mine. Plus they love to share their stories, and more than once I overheard one explaining why takeoff and landing was so hard on the little ones.

Last weekend we officially hit the hard to travel stage, and it was bad enough that I've nixed all non-necessary travel until she's two or can be distracted by a video, whichever comes first. They can all come to see us for a while.

[Amy F]

I'm taking my first plane ride with a child in two weeks (the 2 month old -- I'll avoid the toddler stage for awhile yet) so I appreciate the tips. Excellent timing!

[rachel]

Quick question - does anyone have advice for handling jetlag in babies? I'll be flying with an 11 months-old (12 hours, by myself, thankyouverymuch), and when we land our clocks will be 7 hours off.

[Cat, Galloping]

Yes! You forgot to tell us where you went 24 times in two years! That's amazing!

[Moxie]

Lots of 90-minute or 2-hour flights to family in the Midwest, then Seattle, Puerto Rico, and Florida.

[Shandra]

No personal experience but my mother says she always dressed us extra-cutely (but comfortably) so that people would have that 'aww cute' reaction.

[Maria]

On jetlag--I've found that my son copes much better than my husband and I do! We immediately put him on his new schedule--so when we landed in Dublin at 6:30 am local time, we gave him breakfast and played with him. We just add or subtract a nap depending on the way we're flying. So, he had a short morning nap in Dublin, which he had outgrown (but needed that day!), then we woke him for lunch and continued as usual for the day. Coming home, we kept him awake through his normal afternoon naptime and put him to bed an hour or so ealier. Make sure you keep naps, meals, snacks, play time at the usual times (local time) and your little one will be fine. Also, keep everyone hydrated! It really does help.

[AmericanFamily]

We always bring a big box of earplugs to offer to everyone sitting around us. They are rarely accepted, but it has an almost magical way of creating good will towards us and the shorty. They have never failed me yet. Plus, if the kid does end up screaming, you may want some for yourself.

[Carla]

Bring the carseat on the plane, unless they are a tiny baby that will sleep in your arms, a carseat on the plane is safer and your child will most likely sleep the entire flight, at least mine do. We tried one leg of our flight last year without seats (2yr olds), and it was horrible, the next leg we had them in the carseats and they were angels.

Of course if they are under 2 that means you have to buy a seat even though you don't "have" to but I think it is worth it, after traveling with my twins both ways.

[Madeleine]

A friend of mine who flew a lot with her toddler, solo, recommended lots of very cheap identical toys, so that when one rolls under the seat you can pull out another. Her favorite was rice crispy squares -- they come in blue mylar wrappers, so you can play crinkle-crinkle and toss for a while, then serve them as a snack if there are any that didn't roll under the seat in front of you. Also she told me that with many toddler car seats you can pull the straps through the back and wear it on your back (even without that nice bag that Moxie suggested).

And her funniest suggestion, which I haven't tried, was cartoon character underwear, for Mom, not kid. It keeps the child standing in front of you and entertained in icky public bathrooms so they aren't touching everything while you pee.

[Mayberry]

So timely as I am about to undertake my first solo flight with two kids tomorrow a.m. They are 4 and (uh oh) 13 mo. The last time I flew with my baby I was hurling like a hungover frat boy (bad reaction to an antibiotic) so this time HAS to be better. So far I've found the best time-killer/distraction is definitely food. I'm willing to keep up a steady stream of dry cereal, freeze-dried apples, and ice cubes (really) if that's what it takes.

With my 4-y.o., she does like DVDs, and we have a very light player. I also give her a small bag of her own to carry with coloring books, markers, stickers, etc. She likes to look through the skymall catalog and find all the babies, kids, dogs, cats, etc.

[meg]

Thank you,thank you. We are taking a 4 1/2 year old and an 18 month old from the west coast of the US to Ireland in July. I am a "wee" bit afraid of the flight...this is very timely and helpful. Wish us luck!

[Mayberry]

PS Shandra, that's hilarious (and totally worth a try).

[Kate]

One thing re: nursing, when debating whether to splurge on the extra seat for baby consider whether you will be comfortable nursing the baby with a stranger in the seat next to you. Because of the shape/size of my breasts, I am not even sure that I could have accomplished this without touching the person next to me, and I am 100% sure that I wouldn't have been comfortable doing it. Also, my "gut" told me to never, ever wake my baby on a flight, so I broke the feed him on take off and landing rule many times, with good results, i.e. he never woke up in pain. Now that he's older he actually never expresses discomfort during take off and landing even on bad descents when I have tears leaking from my eyes because my ears are hurting so badly.

[Kara]

My 11-month-old and I have a 2.5-hour flight coming up in June, so this was very timely - thank you! This will be his second plane trip, but my first alone with him. Question - can a Britax Marathon be brought on the plane? It says it's approved for air travel but it looks so freakin' HUGE - can it even fit through the X-ray machine?

[shayneegray]

Thanks for the timely tips. We'll be taking our by-then-16-month-old daughter (right in the middle of the red zone!) on her first plane flights in a few weeks. We decided to buy her a seat, as she often sleeps really well in her carseat in the car and we hope some of that magic may carry over to air travel. I'm a little concerned about occupying her, as she just doesn't like toys that much. So anything I bring would be good for maybe 3 minutes of distraction. (As such, I'm probably just going to fill a small paper bag with curly ribbon, pictures from magazines, etc. to amuse her, then toss it as we disembark.)

[Lisa]

Just wanted to say that we flew last month for the first time with our daughter (then 2 months) and her carset did not fit in the seat we bought for her on one of the legs. Granted it was a smaller commuter plane (holds 50 people more or less) but it was very annoying to shell out the money and have to hold her in the end. It was fine the rest of the trip because we had bulkhead seats. So depending on what aircraft you're flying in, this might be a factor. I also agree that the businessmen were by far the nicest about traveling with her, I received many offers of help and I was traveling with my husband. Great post!

[Carla]

We had Britax roundabouts that fit in the coach seats of Southwest.

If you can fly Midwest they are the best for carseats and people with kids.

[Paul Roub]

Re: the preboard -- if both parents are flying, whether the kids are young enough to preboard or not, designate one parent (in our case, usually me) in charge of the gear and one (my wife) in charge of the kids. The gear goes on early, luggage gets stowed while space is available, car seats get set up, etc. Then, roughly as late as possible, in come Mom and the kids, just in time to sit down and prep for takeoff. I forget where I first saw this suggestion, but it's been a huge help ever since.

[Bridgette]

Kara - we bring our Britax Marathon on Southwest and have done just fine with it so far. Depending on how long your child is, I think you should do fine too. If he's big/long, you may have a bit of trouble with his/her feet touching the seat in front.

[Kate]

If you are doing the sling thing through security, etc., be forewarned that in my experience, you will have to take the baby off to prove you don't have an incendiary device stashed beneath him/her. So this is the time for a pouch, not a wrap.

Umm...let's see what I can add. We've had 3 big trips with Miss M--at 6 months, 11 months (12 hrs internationally, and one way by myself), and 17 months. On all of them we bought her a seat because we needed to use the Britax (roundabout) on the other end in a rental or borrowed car. It was great to have a space for her--even at six months she wasn't tiny, so it was nice to be able to put her down while she slept.

Miss M turned out to be a wonderful traveler; I always offered to nurse up/down, but her ears never seemed to bother her. I guess it is a case of follow your kid's cues in this scenario. (On the international flights, which were at night, I was on nursing duty every two hours. But she was mostly quiet.)

We thought the 17 month trip was going to be terrible, but it wasn't. She was thrilled with the planes all around (we made sure she had the window seat). She did get very attached to the moving sidewalks in the Houston airport, though! On the flights, she watched a brand new dvd and spent a lot of time with a mini Magnadoodle (also new). Now (22 mos) I'd take a pad with washable markers, too.

[Julian]

Good stuff, Moxie! I'll share it with my travelling families ... Elizabeth Pantley sent me an excerpt on air travel with baby that's been pretty good too. It's at:
http://www.adoptmed.org/storage/Airplane%20Travel%20with%20a%20Baby%20-%20Pantley.pdf

I'm a big fan of portable alcohol hand gels for travel with kids ... tons of international cooties around ... sadly it tastes like toxic waste so not so useful for hand-eaters and finger-suckers.

[Julian]

Oops - link got cut off ... it's linked at the bottom of this article: http://www.adoptmed.org/travel/ ...

[Em]

We've done numerous long haul flights with our kids (often spending more than 24 hours in transit) and I think your advice is spot on. I agree the 10-21 month age is the hardest - our worst flight by far was when our son was 15 months old - very mobile and extremely frustrated that he couldn't roam around the plane at will. When we next did the same NYC-Sydney flight at 22 months he was SO much easier.

[Amy]

I've flown lots of times with my kids -- who are now 5 and 2 -- including a 5 hour flight by myself from Chicago to Vancouver last year. My tips, although a bit "worst case scenario" are good for peace of mind:

Dress kids comfortably, but in bright colors. Matching outfits are also a good idea.

Put a copy of your business card or a piece of paper with your name and cell phone number in a pocket on each of your kid's clothing.

Make sure you have recent photos of your kids in your cell phone or wallet.

When you get on the plane, introduce yourself to the flight attendant, and have older children say "hi" and give their name. That way you've put a face and identity in the event you need anything.

Keep tylenol and benadryl in your carry-on, along with purel and lots of extra wipes.

[Stephanie]

Having taken my 11 month daughter on 5 flights so far, and leaving again on Tuesday, I agree with everything you said, as well as the person who said to bring extra adult clothes. (Daddy regretted his decision to wear his black velvet blazer on the plane when it got covered with regurgitated breast milk.)

Other than the 25 year old guy next to me, everyone has always been really, really nice to me - carrying my bags, holding my daughter while I got up, etc. I'm flying without my husband again next week and it always stresses me out a bit - it's a lot to keep track of alone.

Our favorite inflight toys: straws and pieces of yarn. Quiet and who cares if you lose them.

[liz]

If you're going to travel more than once a year, get a Stroll-n-go. It's a stroller that folds up into a carseat that is FAA approved for all air travel (not all carseats are acceptable for flying, check with your airline).

Bring snacks, coloring books, crayons. Toys and books that your child has never seen before. And, yes, BRING A CHANGE OF CLOTHES for BOTH parents. Trust me, the rest of the plane will thank you.

[Michelle]

i made my first flight with DS (8 months) solo. it went better than i could of hoped for. I checked the suitcase & playpen at curbside. I walked the Las Vegas and Fresno airport with graco stoller and infant seat and checked the stroller at our gate. i didn't get a seat but teh flight had lots of empty seats adn i snapped the carseat in easily.